Whether you are experiencing sudden loss or trying to cope with the emptiness of having someone leave you there are always ways to fill the void within us and rebuild a stronger foundation for completeness and happiness.
In part 1 of 'Dealing With Goodbyes - 7 Powerful Ways That Will Make You Feel Complete Again' we looked at only a few ways to achieve equilibrium after experiencing loss. Here are few more to add to your arsenal. As with all advice, it is far easier to say something than to do it so look deep to find the courage that lies dormant within you, you will overcome this.
4. See it as a Challenge
Our imaginations can be powerful in that it can transform the way we perceive our own realities. It’s all in the mind. If we see the absence from that special person as a test of our love and endurance we no longer perceive it as an ordeal but a challenge, a challenge to transcend current boundaries and become stronger than ever.
In the event that you do reunite this special person you can be sure that the new found appreciation will uncover doors that were previously invisible. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder.
It is far better to fight for what is important to us than to give up on them.
5. Look to the Future
If we spend our lives looking in the rear mirror we will never get anywhere we want to. Harboring a sense of regret or longing for the past will only pull you deeper into despair. Sure you can wallow in self-pity but in the end it is never going to help you or anyone else achieve anything meaningful.
Do yourself a favor and enjoy the moment while looking forward to the future. If you do look back at your memories focus on the positive memories rather than the negative. It is better to feel a sense of gratitude than the draining feeling of regret.
It is in the future we have endless possibilities to rebuild and create new memories. So let the memories that don’t serve you fade and cherish those brief moments that defined the wonderful person you are today.
6. Letting Go
One of the greatest challenges in life is learning how to let go of the things we hold onto the hardest. As human beings we resist change. We like a sense of certainty and that is why we hold on to what is known rather than embrace the unknown. The interesting point here is that everything we knew began as something unknown before it become known and familiar.
Holding on too tight can also hurt us more than it can heal us. Think about about a situation in which you held on too tightly to your own point of view or outcome that it ended up hurting a relationship. This is why we must learn when to let go even if it is temporarily until we gain the strength build ourselves up and fight for what we truly desire.
Realize that letting go and giving up are not the same thing! Letting go serves yourself and others, giving up doesn’t serve you or others. For instance, letting go of someone when it serves them becomes truly selfless act. They will appreciate you more and will strengthen your bond if they realize your sacrifice is for them. It is your greatest gift of selflessness despite the ensuing pain.
Set yourself free by learning to go (gradually) of what causes us pain and grief. Until you are strong enough you can begin to hold on in other ways (i.e. appreciating the precious memories).
7. Go With the Flow
Similar to letting go is going with the flow. The events that transpire before you result from forces beyond our control. The more we go against the flow of the universe (the factors we can’t control) the more unhappiness or pain we will fall upon. Change is an inevitable factor of life. We must accept this fact. It is far easier to flow with these universal forces at play than to go against them. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are passive and take whatever comes your way. If you have clear goals and purpose in both heart and mind you can use the flow to your advantage to achieve whatever you truly desire (within reason).
I often liken the flow of the universe like the tides. Imagine if you were swimming out at sea, if you were stuck out at sea and trying to swim back to shore it is far easier to swim with the waves than against it. Swimming against it will only tire you out and possibly leave you to drown. Instead, if you learn to go with the flow or general direction of flow you can easily get back to shore or possibly an exotic island. You never know where it can take you if you just go with the flow.
Learn to let things come naturally, accept what you can’t change and flow with what you can change. You will find that it if you are able to accept a situation or outcome you will set yourself free from limitations and begin to find a new path of discovery and transformation that serves in ways you never imagined.
Some Words of Comfort
Irrespective of what you may feel know that time heals all pains if you let it. It is the secret ingredient that allows you to overcome any challenge. The challenges you do face will only build you as a person, you just have to step back and look at the bigger picture.
Enrich your life by filling it with supportive and positive people such as close friends and family. Supportive people can allow you to vent your painful feelings and free you from the burdens. It is often the perfect remedy for an empty life, filling it with enjoyment and happiness you deserve to have.
As with all advice, find what works for you and apply it to your life. Overcoming your challenges is a continuous process of application, reinforcement and refinement. Although every fiber of you may resist these solutions just remember that nothing worth having comes easy.
Lastly, keep an open heart and open mind you will be whole again.
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