Anger is one of the most powerful emotions that we have and it is a response to a certain situation that causes it. Many things can make us angry, in our work place, at home, out and about and even at the TV. The most common form of anger is in reaction to something someone has said to us that we feel is unfair, often it involves bullying or verbal slander, or it can be something that has made us disappointed in that person or organization. Controlling your anger in a calm way is something a lot of us strive to do and the majority of people are able to work well on this but there is a portion of the population that do have anger issues which need to be addressed before they get out of hand and gets someone hurt or in trouble.
If we look at the root of the problem we can see that anger comes as a reaction to the Fight or flight response that kicks in when we feel that we are in danger, our family, someone we care about i.e. a friend, an innocent stranger etc is being harassed, harmed in some way or our own hearts are breaking after we are disappointed by someone we love. This is just a small example of things that can make us angry. It is a primeval response where we either run away (Flight) or stand our ground and fight which is fueled by (anger), this reaction is stronger in some people where as others it is not, it all comes down to DNA and science.
So how do you control anger? There are many ways to do this and it depends on which route you decide to use. For some their Fight response is far too strong and a doctor’s visit that will refer them to a specialist will run tests to ensure that it is not part of a medical condition. They will then refer you to anger management counseling where you will be taught everything you need to know. But for the majority of us that do not feel that our anger and emotions are not that significant enough to warrant a doctor’s visit but are significant enough that you are seeking out help then there are a few things you can look at that will help you that you can do from home:
- Take Some Time – This is the first and most important thing to do as soon as you feel your temper beginning to rise. Walk away from the situation and take some time to calm down so that you can deal with the situation rationally.
- Expressing Your Anger – Once you have calmed down you need to express your anger as bottling it up can only lead to issues down the line, but you need to do this in a calm and efficient way that allows you to say what you need to without hurting the other person verbally.
- Stop and Think – All too often we speak to someone without thinking which can often cause us to say things we regret. Taking the time to take in everything that person has said and formulate a response that is without anger but gets your point across is why you need to stop and think. With practice and time you will be doing this with everyone in all situations where your response previously might have been different.