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Dealing with People who Disrespect Your Career Choice

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 0 0

There are many people who have opinions on your career choice. For young people the number one set of people who are disrespectful would be parents. How to deal with them? It's actually simpler than you might think. Be polite, be detached, be firm. There are many reasons why your parents disagree with your choice stemming both from love and fear. May be they care for you and don't want to see you get hurt, maybe they're jealous and need to hold you back. There is no reason, however, for them to be disrespectful. Chances are if you are up against this, it is not the first time you have butted heads with your parents. People, parents or otherwise, are disrespectful because they have contempt for you.

You don't need to accept contempt in your life. Let me repeat, be polite, be detached, and be firm. Too many people get caught up in the illusion that just because two people gave birth to you there is some kind of magical connection that can not be broken. The truth is, lots of unfit people have the biology necessary to create a child. That doesn't mean they know how to parent. That doesn't mean you have to have a life long association with them. And it really really doesn't mean you have to care what they think.

You have to care what they think only if they are financially supporting you. This would be true if the person disrespecting your career choice is a spouse as well. If you are in this situation you need to get out. Support yourself financially. Put your money where your mouth is. Don't whine about what people say or people do if you don't even have the strength or the courage to stand by your convictions. My former husband made the career choice to be a drug addict. I couldn't respect that. Bless his heart he moved out on his own without my even having to request it.

Be polite means you don't break down to their level. Don't raise your voice, don't name call, don't cuss in your defense. No amount of psychic energy needs to be spent on retorting to disrespect. It won't make a difference and it wastes your time. In the Midwest we have a saying, "It's no sense teaching a pig to dance, because a pig CAN'T dance, and it irritates the pig." So be polite.

Be detached. People are entitled to their own opinions. Who is to say who is right and who is wrong? If you come to believe your own career choice was stupid a few years down the road you are going to feel pretty silly about the people you tried to convert to your way of thinking. So allow other people to have their own ideas about what you are doing. If your idea is sound they will see that, eventually.

Be firm. You don't owe anyone an explanation for what you do in life, unless they are investing in your career or supporting you financially. Don't explain, don't defend. Stick to your guns and do what you are going to do. For every four hundred million kids that wants to be a rock star, some guys make it. Ditto with sports. No matter what the odds you have to think you can make it, in order to make it. So don't let negativity creep into your psyche.

It's your life, this is not a dress rehearsal.



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