When life has been kind enough to knock you down, you must always remember that the most important thing you can do at this moment in time, is to pick yourself back up, dust off your clothes and continue on. One characteristic that I see all the time in people is the need to dwell on past mistakes or hardships. By doing this, people are essentially setting themselves up for failure. I believe it is important to remember what happened and you must always learn from your mistakes or those of others, but to dwell on them is a critical and all to common fault.
I have seen too many people become depressed because they can't mentally move past something bad that has happened, a classic example of this is someone who has done a few embarrassing things while having drinks with friends. Instead of realizing that the only person that still cares about what happened is them, they are constantly watching everything that they do and in the act, end up not enjoying themselves as much, or even worse, they may try to avoid contact with anyone who was there to witness it. On a professional level, I don't think there is one person who cannot name at least one co-worker that displays some form of animosity towards a fellow employee. If you ask the person why, I'm sure they'll tell you about something that happened in the past that they are still dwelling about, and if you proceed to ask the other employee about this event they will most likely not even remember it, or if they do then they will be oblivious that anyone is upset about it.
What I'm trying to show here, is how the negative events in our lives that we may be obsessing or dwelling about, might be better off to log in our memory and move on. If someone has done something to you, then learn from the mistake, and make sure that they are not able to do it again. If it is something that you have done, then take note and make sure that you do not make this mistake again. In dealing with the consequences, you must always remember that we cannot change the past. What has happened, has happened and the only thing left to do is to suck it up and deal with it. If you look at any of the great inventions that have come and gone, do you think that any of them were created on the first try? I'll bet that 99.99% of them took hard work and many failures in order to get to be the great invention that they are. Where would we be as a civilization if all of the great inventors quit after their first failure?
We must learn from our failures because that is how we can grow. If you touch the hot element on a stove you will burn yourself. After touching the element once, do you think that you would touch it again? I hope not, because you have learned that touching it will burn and injure you. So in making this mistake, you have grown as a person because now you have one extra experience under your belt, which you will use in the future when you encounter another hot element. You can learn by reading a book, or by someone telling you something, but you will not retain the lesson as well as if you actual DO the action. This is why doctors have such long internships, they must DO the actions, they have to make the mistakes in a controlled environment in order to learn how to save our lives.
I like to think back to when I first started programming, the first time I got a syntax error It took me a while to figure out just what was wrong. I believe it turned out I was missing a semi-colon at the end of the line; The reason it took so long to find something so small, is because I didn't know what I was looking for, I had to look through books, and check every single line of code in order to find the missing item. But, the next time I encountered a syntax error, I immediately knew where to start looking, and it took only a few seconds to pinpoint the source of the error. I learned from my mistake. People who are new to programming (or any other profession) are always amazed at how fast and easily veteran programmers can find mistakes and write code. Some of these people instantly think "Wow, they are so much smarter then me". This is wrong because they may or may not be smarter then you, what they do have is experience, they have seen all these errors before because they have made the mistakes themselves.
Defeating the past sounds like it can be a hard thing to do, and it really can be difficult if we allow our minds to set up road blocks and other obstacles. Always remember that you are in control of your thoughts and if you are stuck thinking one thing, all it takes is a simple thought to change your perspective and set things right. I think the most important thing you can take away from this article is to learn from your mistakes and to not hold on to them, because by holding on to them you are causing unneeded stress and worry.
By making mistakes we learn and can grow, by dwelling on mistakes we'll just find excuses and cast blame on other people. We have to take responsibility for our actions and move on, so go out there and play the cards that are dealt to you. If you find yourself giving excuses or casting blame onto other people, stop and think how you can learn from what has happened. Find the root cause of what happened and take note. Pick up the pieces and work through correcting any wrongs, then walk forward and never look back.