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Defying all odds: long distance love.

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 2 6

Defying all odds: long distance love.

Long distance love(113720)

Love!..sigh...What a beautiful word! The very word 'love' is like an aphrodisiac which usually sends little flutters of butterflies in our stomach. But what happens when the words 'long distance' are placed in front of it? Do we still feel the same about love? Or do we give an exasperated shrug? To many people, the idea of having a long distance relationship seems ludicrous, unconvincing and totally far from the perceived ideal. 'Love' connotates intimacy so how does loving someone from afar fall into this category? Well, to many people, their entire concept of love is founded on this philosophy of long distance love.

Statistics show that currently 5 million people in the US alone have been involved in long distance mariages and that 40% of long distance relationships will actually work out. If the failure rate is relatively high, why are long distance relationships so common? Factors such as one partner migrating as a result of work or study, couples living in different countries or even continents and relocation can cause couples to find themselves in long distance relationships.

Whether short term or long term, couples that are in long distance relationships can find themselves not only separated from their partners but the effects of the separation can be emotionally draining, as well as stressful. Simple acts such as shopping at the mall can prove to be emotionally draining for persons in a long distance relationship when they see couples strolling through the malls, holding hands or embracing each other. These visuals can stir up memories of one's loved one and feelings of longing and consternation can grow.

Pining woman
Solitary man
In order to withstand the thresholds of life, the couple in a long distance relationship should find ample ways of narrowing the gap between them so that the long distance relationship can be a pleasant experience as well as a pleasurable means of day to day living. Long distance relationships, like an expensive mink suit, should be treated with great care and attention to detail. The daily pressures of life: juggling busy careers, studying, completing assignments and house chores can lessen the amount of time one spends with one's partner. If these details of one's relationship are not ironed out at an early stage and both partners' expectations are not discussed, the wear and tear of everyday life will eventually start to negatively affect the relationship and ultimately irreparable damage will be done.

Couples in long distance relationships must develop a proper channel of communication to emotionally support each other. In today's world where technology is at its apex, there are numerous forms of staying in touch even though one is far away. From phone calls and texting to black berry messaging to skyping, it is possible nowadays for couples to talk to each other face to face via a web cam.

Couple skyping(113732)
Blackberry(113733)

Skype, as well as other forms of messengers are excellent channels of communication.The ability to see and 'touch' one's partner via webcam while chatting, creates an atmosphere of  intimacy that cannot be derived merely from a text message or phone call. Talking daily to each other, asking how each other's day was, discussing problems at work and resolving them together all help to solidify the bond that a long distance couple shares. It also makes the situation more intimate as a face to face conversation on skype can be a great substitution for the 'real thing.' Flirting on the web cam as well as sexting each other can keep the passion going but cyber sex between long distance partners can simulate real sexual contact that can prove both pleasurable and satisfying.

Man in bed
Couples in long distance relationships must be careful to avoid intense arguments whilst physically apart. Arguing on skype is as impractical as taking a plane to go to school. It does nothing to help improve the relationship. Discussing different points of view instead of engaging in heated arguments will add stability to the relationship in the long run.

Couple arguing

When in a long distance relationship, it is wise to always have transparency. Couples need to be honest with each other and avoid keeping secrets that can jeopardize the relationship. If both partners stand firmly on a foundation of honesty, the likelihood of one or both partners cheating will dreastically diminish. In the long run, if one partner does meet someone new and decides to terminate the relationship, then it is important that he or she honestly relay those feelings to their significant other before deciding to move on. Being honest about one's feelings is not only the right thing to do, but it also gives the other person a chance to start over as well. Remember in the long run, it is always better to be honest with the other person vs leading him or her on and having them believe your committment lies with them when it does not!

Last but not least, it is very important that couples in a long distance relationship visit each other as often as they can allow. The more time the long distance couple spends with each other in person, the less feelings of loneliness and isolation will become an issue when they are separated. Seeing each other at the airport and runing into each other's arms is not only refreshing but it is chicken soup for the soul. And the physical longing for each other as well as all the pent up sexual frustration whilst apart will be soothed in the comfort of each other's arms...

Couple embracing

The long distance relationship...the joys and the turmoil! It is not for everyone but only for the chosen few. Whatever the relationship one may be in- be it far from each other or in close proximity, basic, good old fashioned communication is a must. Both individuals should guarantee that their feelings for each other are genuine and that they discuss issues in an honest fashion. Long distance love- a taboo for some; a way of life for others. Whatever it may be to each individual, it will always be popular in its own right. Why? Because absence really does make the heart grow fonder!


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Comments

Sep 29, 2012 8:33am
onenewvoice
Nice article and I am sure everyone can think of one time or another they were in a long distance relationship. Thanks for the info.
Sep 29, 2012 8:43am
Elizabeth31
You're welcome! Thanks for the feedback. Yes, long distance relationships are tough sometimes but can be rewarding with the right person. Been in a few myself.
Oct 24, 2012 3:48am
Ascentive
Great article!
I can totally relate to it ... Been there, done it .... and we are still together :)

Thumbs Up!
Oct 24, 2012 2:25pm
Elizabeth31
Cheers to you!
Oct 24, 2012 10:06pm
Januarius
Very interesting article on long distance love.However,the reality is true that the natural instinct of libido overpowers the will and drives one to cheat.Only to say later,"Mea culpa."
Oct 25, 2012 1:42am
Elizabeth31
That reality is not always true. Some long distance relationships can stand the test of time with frequent visits, prayer, good faith, constant communication and skype. It's amazing what skype can do for a relationship. ;)
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