Depression and the spectrum of feelings
I’m trying to identify what tag I should give myself.
Is it depression? Or bipolar? It could be OCD. I definitely have ADHD.
Or are these all different aspects of an interesting personality?
I must admit that I do like the term "Bipolar". Everybody has down days but the term bipolar conveys the image of the ups and downs being poles apart.
Opposite ends of the spectrum.
Opposite ends of the world.
Now even more interesting is obsessive compulsive disorder. If you are obsessive about something you now share a trait with the world’s most successful people.
If Tiger Woods is obsessive about golf that’s ok. (Let’s forget his mistakes for the moment.)
If a scientist devotes her life to curing cancer, that’s admirable. The applause is deafening. Long hours at work. Other areas of life falling by the wayside. An untidy home. Poor hygiene habits.
BUT, we overlook this as she is on a quest to make the world more comfortable for the rest of us. Her quirkiness is actually part of the attraction. We actually like her more because of it. The problem is when someone has all those traits except the obsession with curing cancer, they become outcasts.
When I was in my early 30s, I performed a public grading to get my fifth degree black belt in karate. Since my teens I had obsessed over martial arts training. Excessively and obsessively working on fitness, technique and mental focus. Hours every day and often two or three sessions a day. The grading was one of those times when everything went right. No stumbles, no mistakes. A living example of obsessive compulsive disorder. The rank was awarded and I was praised by the grading panel of higher grades.
Afterwards I remember a girl coming over to me and saying that she’d never witnessed anything like that before and said how she admired my performance.
I thanked her.
Then I said to her to keep in mind that I am now in my early 30s with nothing.
No house, no wife, no kids, and no money. I didn’t mean to be negative but I wanted to explain the price that is paid for obsession.
Poor girl. I don’t think it’s the answer she was expecting.
So we need to look at the glass being half full now. A disorder shouldn’t be measured by the difficulties it creates. It should be measured by the creativity it can foster. By the ability to think outside the box. It’s a blessing if you look at it this way. Like the mother who loves her son even though he is a convicted murderer. She doesn’t forgive the transgression. She just chooses to focus on the love.
Jim Carey was once quoted as saying that behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. It means that the world sees the competence of the great man. The woman sees the dirty underwear at home.
Glass half full.