Domestic Violence

Domestic Violnce & Kids

Domestic Violence And The Affect It Has On Children

Joe Kelly, the former journalist and domestic violence counselor has undergone a phase transformation from being a dad working out of his home to a national known spokesman for fatherhood. He now offers a book, Dads and Daughters: How to Inspire, Understand, and Support Your Daughter When She's Growing up So Fast (Broadway). Fathers really matter to daughters and vice versa. Kelly being the father of two twin daughters says that a father has the power to set the norms for his daughter on what to expect from a life partner. The manner in which a father behaves toward his daughter and other women is what she will expect later from boys and men. It is really important for a father to be respectful of all women so that his daughter can proudly say that, “That's the kind of guy I will look for.”

 Kelly has been interviewed on many television programs, in magazines and newspapers. He is quoted often in his interviews saying “Just be a good listener during you child’s teen years so that you can steer them in the right direction”. There exists single parent assistance programs designed specially to help you face the struggles encountered in the life of a single parent. Since the health care costs have greatly increased over the past decade, the cost of health insurance has gone up but the actual benefits offered have fallen. Even for those families who have health care coverage, the financial burden can be suffocating. Many jobs no longer include health care and the cost of getting into a plan without a group rate is even more staggering. The single parent health care assistance services are made available to those in need of such services. Single moms and fathers should not have to go without necessary medical care because they are living on only one income.

If you are a parent who has recently become single due to divorce, death, an unexpected pregnancy, or a domestic violence situation, you can find support in areas of education, employment, finances, child care, and legal assistance. There are both public and private organizations which offer advice and assistance to single mothers and fathers in the upbringing of their children. Single parent job assistance programs are meant for those parents who are in need of a new job thereby supporting their family and child care assistance is available to make it possible to hold a job. Many children growing up in a hostile environment learn from an early age to be prepared for anything.

For example: if their mothers or fathers are an alcoholic, they may not know what they may find when they get back from their school which can make them feel edgy and nervous. In case their mom or dad tries to take a swing at them, they must be in the position to protect themselves until an older sibling comes home. Parents must realize the fact that their two year old can't stand up for themselves and say that the conflicts and beating up between their parents can lay a bad impact on them emotionally, mentally, and psychologically as well.

 It is often seen that the boys or girls who grow up in the environment filled with domestic violence, often grow up to repeat the cycle by becoming the abuser, instead of the victim. They believe that it is appropriate for them to behave like their abusive parent, even though at one time, they themselves did not like their mother or father’s behavior and were disgusted, frightened and repulsed by such behavior in their childhood.

 Many times, these men or women are unaware that they are walking in the footsteps of that abusive parent and those who are aware; they find themselves unable to break the cycle, even when they want to because doing so requires tremendous self-awareness, self-discipline and self-actualization. Sometimes this cannot be realized without the assistance of a therapist, but in certain instances, the cycle can be broken even without therapy, with an exceptionally strong-minded individual.  

According to another theory abusers are born, already psychologically damaged, and that despite that their family background be dysfunctional or healthy, they make their choice to become an abuser. As society changed and progressed, the awareness with domestic violence where the female is the abuser has shed some light on the inevitable fact that women have the ability to abuse just as men do.

Unfortunately, our government still has a huge one sided view when it comes to Domestic Violence as a whole. The assistance that is provided for single mothers who are homeless and victims of domestic violence steadily increases whereas assistance for men that are victims have virtually no help at all. It is time to stand up and make a change by changing the world…one dad at a time.