Eight Tips to Bring Back Your Sex Life

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Couples that have been together for a long period of time often lose the spark of intimacy in their lives. Careers, family, and the day-to-day grind can all contribute to a loss of physical closeness between two people. Even couples that truly love one another may find that weeks or even months have passed since the last time they had sex! Sexual play is an important aspect of any long-term relationship and sexual intimacy doesn't have to fade away if you take these eight simple steps.

Touch More

Just as foreplay before sex can make for a much more pleasurable experience, building up to the main event with innocent physical contact can build anticipation that will drive you both wild. Something as simple as holding hands during a movie can move the two of you closer to intimacy. Stroke your partner's neck while they drive or cop a feel while working together in the kitchen. Give a back or foot massage. Simple touching lets your partner know that you want to make contact with them and that touching them is something that makes you (and them!) feel good.

Talk about it

If talking about sex makes you uncomfortable or is simply something you haven't done in a while, start gabbing! Often, in the heat of the moment, people feel strange articulating exactly what they want from their partner. Talking about your desires while sitting quietly on the couch (turn off the TV!) can be beneficial in two ways: your partner will have a better understanding of what turns you on, and just talking about it will build a desire to use this new information. Tell your partner what you need and listen to them carefully as well to bring real harmony into your bedroom.

Love notes

You can do a number of little things every week to build excitement and anticipation in your sex life. Leave sexy love notes on the fridge, go lingerie shopping together, or send a racy email (make sure there's no chance the boss will see it!). Better yet, give a card with directions to a romantic occasion you've got planned. Tell your partner that they can't open it right away. Let their imagination run wild about the envelope's contents. The event doesn't have to be expensive, but use your creativity and you're sure to find you and your partner in the mood at the end of the evening. Just remember, a little bit of romance and anticipation goes a long way when it comes to getting both of you excited for sex.

Dress it up

Nothing turns on a man or woman like sweatpants and baggy t-shirts right? Not likely. It's probable that when you first met your significant other, both of you were dressing to impress. When you come home from work, take a shower, brush your teeth and put on something other than lounge wear. If you are home all day or have a day off, put on something sexy beneath your clothes and wear something with lots of buttons! Knowing that your partner is putting forth an effort to look sexy means a lot, and it makes undressing each other a real delight. Take some time to step up your personal grooming, and dress in clothes you know will make you feel attractive and you will definitely turn on your partner.

Date Nights

When couples first get together, most of their time is spent going out to dinner, dancing at clubs, meeting for coffee or participating in activities they both enjoy. If you find that you're reading a whole book in a night or that your thumbs hurt from playing too many video games, it may be time to get back out on the town. Schedule and plan date nights. One on one time with each other is so important. Slow dance together, gaze at each other over a candlelit meal, go to a concert, or picnic in the park. Spending quality time together as a couple will renew the spark between you by reminding you why you fell in love in the first place.

Kiss more

Back in high school or college, nothing was hotter than a steamy make-out session. You and your partner probably kissed like crazy when you first got together. Ask yourself, when was the last time you french kissed? Make sure your breath is fresh, cozy up on the couch (or why not in the back seat of the car?) and ravish each other. Nibble ears, lick lips and kiss your partner's neck. Sexy kissing is a great way to get in the mood, and sets the stage for really hot sex.

Pamper Each Other

Nothing shows you care like a little bit of pampering. Obvious ideas are to buy your partner a gift certificate for a day at the spa or schedule a couple's massage. Simpler, less expensive gifts could be as simple as detailing their car or clearing a day for them to relax and enjoy a hobby on their own, giving them back some of the energy lost during a hectic week. Flowers are nice, and cologne is an okay standby, but real thoughtfulness is key. Think about what would relieve some of your partner's stress and make a plan. Little indulgences can go a long way to rekindling the passion in your relationship.

Prioritize Sex

Don't put intimacy on the back burner because you're preoccupied with work, children, or chores. File away the honey-do list and make the decision that sex comes first. While it's not always practical to ignore other aspects of your life to be intimate, it's equally unproductive to let your every day life hamper your sex life. Even if you have to schedule sex - say, penciling it in for Thursday night, you'll be letting each other know that being intimate is important to you both. Making sex a priority will keep both of you sexually satisfied and emotionally closer both in and out of the bedroom.

A great sex life is not something that only happens in romance novels and movies. Every couple can strengthen their bond by making small efforts to please one another. Consider these eight steps and how you can implement them in your life in a way that suits both of your personalities and interests. You'll find that your love will grow and your relationship will be stronger when you make the effort to bring sex and romance back into your lives.