Some of the nursing homes that I have visited are quite alarming. It seems that some of them tend to neglect the patients. I have observed it is a good idea to have  family members present as much as possible. Sometimes patients do not receive as much attention, when family members are not present. The attendants and nurses seemed   preoccupied with paper work.

According to family members that care for the elderly in their home, become more and more stressed out, and angry, and this is why the elderly have to suffer.  In addition, they suggested the authorities make better efforts for the elderly to have good living conditions.

I recall visiting a patient in a nursing home that had a stroke. When I walked in, she indicated she had a pill in her mouth and had been unable to swallow it. I attempted to get the nurse to help. We waited for some time, even though I went to the nursing station a couple of times and I was  pleasant and non-threatening as possible. Finally, someone came and helped her. I sat there with her for a while and prayed a family member would come. Finally, a family member did come and I explained the situation. I just did not want to leave unless I knew a family member was there. This incident was very alarming.

There are some good nursing homes; I just suspect there are not enough of them. I recall a friend that worked in a nursing home. I remember her telling me that patients receive royal treatment. They receive plenty of personal attention.

I recall a friend of mine told me about her family wanting her to go into a nursing home after having a stroke. She said, “I refuse.” She stayed in her apartment and she did quite well, but that is not always the case with everyone. She even had stairs to climb. She told me that she made it up the stairs; she was slow but made it. I thought to myself that was definitely determination, because most stroke victims are not that blessed. Her left side is the area of the paralysis.

I recall watching the Oprah show. She asked some of the people in Denmark what did they do about insurance for the elderly. The one woman said that was not a problem there, because family members took care of their elderly and they usually lived close together such as across the street or within the block. That is very different that many families in America that live all over the states and the country.

I just recently spoke to a woman who said two of her grandchildren were in Germany out of the country.

According to Judy Steed of, Denmark and neighboring Sweden are the best places in the world to grow old. In addition, she states that Danish and Swedish policies are to help people stay at home as long as possible. Home-care and regular house calls by doctors make this possible. This sounds good to me.

Never forget the power of music with the elderly or anyone. Music is good for the brain.  

Old Man in Nursing Home Reacts to Hearing Music from His Era

Staying active is vital to elderly care. Just because you get older, does not mean you have to sit down and just watch television everyday. Some elderly are active dancers, gardeners, swimmers, and even singers. 

87-Year-Old Salsa Dancer-Amazing! Someone once said that age is only a number.  

Some elderly stay active by playing the piano

Photo credit: click from

I also recall our church choir visited a nursing home one year for Christmas and sung there. It was amazing; many of the older people were great singers and had great voices. In addition, I believe we enjoyed it more than they did.

 Other elderly stay active by walking or jogging. 

Photo credit: wallyir from

An elderly person possibly is resistance to care. They may have been so used to being independent and not having to lean on someone else for help. According to the Mayo Clinic staff, choose a time when you and your loved one are relaxing  to discuss this. You may  discuss healthcare preferences, don’t give up, suggest a trial run to see how this will work, enlist the help of a professional, and help your loved one cope with the loss of independence. These are a few of the suggestions by the Mayo Clinic. These are great suggestions. 

Choose a time when you both are relaxing.  This  is so important. There is a time and place for everything. Choosing the wrong time can result in disaster, a blowup of possibly each of you saying things that you will regret. 

I like the idea of having a trial run, because this can give your loved one time to think about it. By having the trial run you can decide changes. It also, gives you a heads up, in the event there are other problems that you may not know about your loved one. These problems might surface and you will be able to discuss that need. 

Do not feel that you have to do it all by yourself. If there are no family members that will come forward and help, then seek the help of professionals. You might try charitable organizations such as the Red Cross. They sometimes will send a nurse out to help your elderly loved one with medications. Check all resources that are available to you and your loved one. Many times doctors and caseworkers, and/or the hospital can suggest available resources for you. Sometimes churches are of a big help to you.  Above all, do not be afraid to ask.

Some resources will bring seniors their meals. That is great for those that may have problems cooking.

Talk with your loved one, because the loss of independence is a hurting thing. I have often talked with stroke people who stated that was a humbling experience, because they had to rely on others for help. During that time, they were not able to help themselves. When you have always done things for yourself, to have that taken away, because of illness is devastating. 

I definitely agree with not giving up. Above all, let your loved ones know you love them and you have their best interest at heart.