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First Date Tips - Body Language 101

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 4 7

Happy Couple(73893)

Body language can tell you a lot about what a person thinks about you - frowns or crossed arms tell you that someone is angry or upset while smiles and laughter mean the complete opposite – but when you're out of a date, it's even more important (and even harder) to interpret what your date is trying to tell you.

The thing is, reading body language is not the most exact science.  What you think someone is saying with their crossed arms and hunched shoulders – anger or distrust – might be totally wrong – the woman is sitting under an AC vent and is just cold.  You have to take what you're reading with a grain of salt and wait for verbal clues to help confirm your suspicions.

Here are a few signs to look for on your next date:

Relaxed posture –

Couple making memories

Does she look relaxed while standing or sitting next to you?  That means she's calm and open to you.  If she's fidgeting, especially on a first date, she may just be nervous.  If she feels as closed off as a military base during the Cold War, watch out!

Eye Contact –

Is she looking you in the eye? Then she's interested in what you're saying.  If she's looking elsewhere when you're talking she's either not interested in you or distracted.

Leaning forward - 

Any time a woman moves closer to you, it means that she feels comfortable being with you – the walls are coming down!  If she's making it a point to keep her distance or move away from you, she's got issues with you or personal space.

Head Nodding –

If she's nodding periodically as you speak, that's a good sign that she's on the same wavelength.  If she looks like one of those bobble head toys, you've lost her – you'll want to take a step back and reevaluate your approach

Touching –

Body Language - Is It Important On A First Date?

Yes, some men and women get "touchy" when you're on a first date.  A soft caress of your arm or hand means that they're making contact.  A touch of your thigh means something totally different.

Watch the Hands –

Hands can be a window to your date's soul too.  Palms up means that they are friendly towards you, where arms crossed could mean that she's closed off towards you.  Also, hands held up behind the head could mean that he or she is trying to gain dominance over you.

Mirroring -

Mirroring is when the person you're talking to is so into you, they unconsciously do whatever you do.  You shift a bit to the right and they shift to the right, you lean forward and they lean forward.  This means that they are really into you and that this relationship has so good potential.

Speed of Conversation –

If your conversation is going at a decent speed and you banter back and forth, that's a good sign.  But if your date has his or her mouth open a lot or seems to be trying to break into the conversation often, you might be talking too much or talking about stuff she's not interested in. 



Dec 8, 2011 11:06am
Mostly, I just want wimmen to talk about how wonderful and enchanting I am. Good primer for novices at body lingo.
Jan 7, 2012 5:00am
Hi, I really agree on many points you have highlighted here. especially how comfortable a woman feels when being with her partner when both are relaxed, in the moment. thanks for sharing your insight.
Jan 7, 2012 1:08pm
Body language on a first date is tricky, because you're right, nerves are at an all time high. If I'm really enjoying a first date with a gal, I'll actually try to subtly shift from one side to another, just to see if she "mirrors" it. Of course that only works when I'm not too nervous myself. God only knows what they're doing to me that I'm not catching on to!
Jan 10, 2012 4:40pm
Great article! I'll be sure to remember all this 'body language 101' the next time I'm out on a date. Thanks for sharing. Google + and posted to Facebook and Twitter.
Jan 10, 2012 5:02pm
Body language is very important, not only on first dates but in everyday life as well. Well written article Anne Keller that expresses the point you're trying to make clearly and effectively. By the way, those are good tips for assessing how well the date is coming along.
Jan 11, 2012 9:47am
Wow, never even knew some of the stuff here. :)
Jan 11, 2012 7:29pm
Very good and cute information. Well Done!
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