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Five Easy Ways to Not Become a Millionaire

By Edited Oct 14, 2015 0 1

Apparently everything that could ever be written about becoming rich has been published. There just wasn't an available title left in the English language. The internet literally begged me to not write another article it couldn't handle it. So this is a "how to" become horrendously poor in five easy steps.

Step 1: Borrow Any Time Anyone Will Let You

When the girl at Target asks if you want a credit card you should definitely say yes. Then buy a bunch of neat house stuff with it. You'll get stuff and make someone happy for getting another credit card commission. Then you should buy a new car on a 7 year loan. That way you get maximum car depreciation with interest. Don't forget to get gas cards, windows for the house, interest only loan on the home, and everything that comes with easy payments. That's what income is for right, to spend it.

Step 2: Buy Lotto Tickets, Go to Casinos, and Bet on the Ponies

You really like paying extra taxes, but your friends look at you weird. So you should just go down to the local store and buy lots and lots of lotto tickets. You know you'll give the winning s away if you won anyways. Then have fun at the nearby casino. Any money that was starting to accumulate in your wallet will surely jump out onto the tables. Make sure you bring your credit card with you too.

Step 3: Care About Credit Card Points

We all know how important credit card points are to a good financial future. We should choose to borrow money based on the card that offers the coolest trips or easiest point spending system, not silly things like interest rate. Make sure the card charges you a large yearly fee too, but they tell you you're elite when you call.

Step 4: Complain about Work Constantly

You can never show anyone any passion for your job. Working is something forced on you by a broken social system that doesn't care that you need to watch Days of Your Life every day. Ensure that you fight with everyone in any authority because you'll never suck it up for a raise or promotion. Years later complain that it's political and that's why you are still an entry level job.

Step 5: Be Selfish

Never give a dollar to anyone ever. Show off to everyone all the cool stuff you've done and bought. Though if they try to show you their stuff talk it down. Having friends is highly overrated.

Just follow this five easy steps and you'll have a miserable existence. Of course you could do the opposite of these steps and probably have a pretty good time with some chance of wealth. You won't become a millionaire overnight with this anti-plan, but it's worked for decades for everyday millionaires.

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Comments

Jun 19, 2010 6:11pm
smoot27ryan
This is a great article, the number one keys to becoming a millionaire are passive income, investing, and being financially smart...
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