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Five Reasons Why Your Online Dating Emails Aren't Getting a Response

By Edited Nov 23, 2015 0 0

online dating emails reply
Credit: Wikimedia Commons

You've set up your online dating profile and are ready for that exhilarating new relationship to start. You know you're a catch! One big problem: you're not getting responses to your online dating emails.

This article is going to help you increase the responses to your online dating emails by pointing out five common mistakes that are turning that potential special someone into another missed opportunity. By fixing these errors you can immediately improve the quality and effectiveness of your online dating emails, and get one step closer to meeting that breathtaking, fantastic person that has to be out there for you.

Dating Email Error #1: Mentioning Sex!

If you're looking for a sure-fire, guaranteed, genuine, 100% certain way to offend, scare or flat out annoy someone, feel free to be sexual in your online dating email. If you want a reply, follow this simple rule: do not mention sex. And most definitely, don't mention your or their physical attractiveness or any particular body parts.

To you, it may seem playful, or flattering, or even sexy, but a mention of sex is the number one reason why people do not reply to online dating emails. It comes across as disrespectful, dangerous and rude, and that simply wont get you a reply (or at least the type of feedback that you're looking for).

Dating Email Error #2: Not Standing Out!

That terrific person you've emailed is getting a lot of online dating emails. A huge amount. It's been called an unending torrent of dull, cut-and-paste online dating emails that in the end are just more spam.

You've got to find a way to stand out from the crowd. How do you do that? By doing two things: carefully reading the person's profile and then writing a special note just for them.

Think hard about why that wonderful person seems so wonderful to you. Do they speak some funky foreign language you don't know a word of? Then try typing “I totally put this into an online translator” into an online translator and use that as the subject line of your online dating email. Go on to mention in your note that you do find it amazing that they speak this language and you would love to hear it in person someday. Do they mention their golden retriever being the best dog in the history of time? Tell them that you think Kanye West's next rant is going to be that his dog is the best of all time, so you think that person should be super careful the next time they're accepting an award.

As a general rule, the more effort you put into your online dating emails, the more likely you are to get a response. By demonstrating you've read someone's profile through a personalized note, you'll go a long way to differentiate yourself from the pack and get a reply from the target of your affections.

Dating Email Error #3: Being a Liar!

Think of your online dating email as a cover letter and your profile as a resume. You can put whatever you want in the cover letter, thinking you're writing just what the recipient wants to read, but if your resume doesn't back it up, you're sunk from the start.

In short: tell it like it is. If you don't love dogs and can't stand yoga, sending “YogaDogLover26” a note saying you can't wait to walk ol' Rover and do some sun-salutations may get you a first look. But, all you've done is push that issue down the road until she reads your profile and sees your cat photos and “Nothing Beats Running” t-shirt. Similarly, if he's telling the world that cigars and scotch are his favourite nightcap, and you're as anti-smoking, wine-loving as it comes, just let him know. Opposites can attract! But liars will get found out and be ignored.

It's tempting to tell a fib or two to try and get something exciting started, but if you're not going to be compatible in the end, lying is a waste of time. If your profile doesn't match your online dating emails, you've lost trust before you've even gotten moving, and wont be getting that crucial reply.

Responses to your online dating emails
Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Dating Email Error #4: Establishing No Connection!

Too many people think of an online dating email as a list of reasons why the recipient is great and why the writer is pretty darn special too. While not offensive, this is just not very effective.

Your online dating email should gently hint at a vision for the relationship. What about you two could make a great pair? How would you folks become something unique that shouldn't be missed?

Now, obviously, you don't want to go overboard. Talking about holding hands after twenty years of marriage with each other is a bit much for the first virtual meeting. But, still, based on your profiles and perhaps early messages, try and find a connection between the two of you.

Do you both like backpacking? Tell him you think it would be amazing to crest a mountain pass with someone special or make up crazy new trail mix recipes on rainy weekends. Does she like to bake? Tell her that you are firmly pro-cake and would love to hear about how she learned the secrets to this mystical art of delicious things.

Creating a feeling that you two could be something special together is a key component to getting a real connection. A tale of two separate people will just ensure the online dating emails you send don't result in happy replies.

Dating Email Error #5: Don't Have an Exciting Next Step!

People seem to forget: the point of online dating for most people is to start actually dating. Just sticking to online dating emails is going to make things dull. Take the initiative and suggest an exciting, but safe, real life meeting.

Be positive! A good rule of thumb is to suggest a social activity, in a public place, with an “escape clause.” Try language such as “I think we should meet up for a quick 15 minute coffee, and see if things go well and we want to get to know each other better. I guarantee the most amazing, excellent, fun, good-times coffee in the history of beans, but if you don't feel the same, at least you'll get a nice coffee out of the deal.”

Use your creativity to propose an exciting face-to-face meeting early (even in the first online dating email you send). In life and in love, fortune favours the bold.

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