Okay, so I am new here, and I have totally enjoyed all the lists I have read while venturing through the articles.
Since I am more than adventurous myself, I thought I have a go at it, and write five ways to positively shock your mate. Of course, I had to throw in some sarcasm, so bear with me.
This article is dedicated to those relationships that have grown as comfortable as your favorite, stained, and holey sweatshirt.
Those relationships that have lost their spark, and now are just a low, burning pile of embers.
If that is you, well there is always a way to fan those embers, perhaps put some fuel on them, and get them burning again. Might need gasoline, who knows, but let's look at the list first.
This list is not given in any order of importance, the key is to choose something from the list that you once did for your mate, but have grown so comfortable, you haven't done it in years.
When you met your significant other, did you spend time choosing clothing, perhaps wear make-up, and regular haircare?
Make a positive change and shock them, and yourself, by fixing up your wardrobe. You don't have to spend an arm and a leg, anything you buy will be an improvement from those old, faded, sweatpants.
Ladies, did you wear make-up back in the day when you met your partner?
I hear men and women say, "He doesn't want me to wear make-up," or "She doesn't need no make-up. She is beautiful without it."
Well, okay, let's address the first one.
The person that doesn't want you to wear make-up probably doesn't want you to attract other men. Believe me, you will still attract other men with or without it, and since it is more fun with it, let's shock our partner by buying some make-up.
Now, let's address the second one.
She probably is beautiful without make-up to you, especially if you truly love her for her true self, or she is just a natural beauty, it happens. However, when you met her at that party years ago, she was one of the only three women there wearing make-up, and out of those three, she was the thinnest, and had better clothes. So, come on, let her wear some make-up, and you can re-live that night you met at the party.
#2 Personal Hygiene
Okay, first, let me tell you. I have 13 years experience teaching Junior High. The class I taught after P.E. was always taught with doors and windows open, even in the winter.
With that said, showers are good, showers are our friend. Say it with me, showers are good, showers are our...
Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant. Do I have to explain the importance of this. Simply put, it is an absolute must.
I knew a guy who didn't brush his teeth for a year. One day, our teacher called him up to the front of the class and announced, "You need to go home and brush your teeth. You will not return to my class until you brush your teeth, daily."
Enough said. It is really embarrassing to have someone ask you to brush your teeth. The guy from my school? He was 27. Yeah, dang shame. Brush your teeth.
Let's talk hair. If your mate hasn't snuggled, or as we say in my culture, laid up under you in a long time, chances are your hair has lost that, "Gee, your hair smells terrific," factor.
Please people, snuggle time is vital. Wash your hair with a really great smelling soap, and condition it to make it soft. If you are sensitive to smell, well then just wash your hair, at least it is clean. The sense of touch and smell are extremely important during snuggle time.
#3 Cleaning up the Crib
Okay, this is a tough one. There are some partners that really enjoy cleaning. If you were blessed to find one, then you can skip to the next number, you get a free pass.
Everyone else? Listen up. Are you the one who sets a dirty spoon on the stove after you stir something? Are you the one who seasons the counter, the table, and every available spot besides your plate? Are you the one who showers but never cleans the tub? Shaves but doesn't clean the sink? Well, cleaning up after yourself once in a while will give you a very happy partner. Run a vacuum, wash a plate, wipe a counter. I promise, this one works.
#4 Date Night
Okay, this one is vital, especially if you met and started dating before you got serious. It's a win/win situation for both. She gets to go out, and he is guaranteed that she is coming home with him for the night.
In today's economy, there are a billion of things you can do for free. It will only cost you gas to go to a park, and push each other on the swings. It will only cost you gas to go to a beach and walk together. I'd love to just go to a bookstore with a cuppa coffee and read quietly to each other. There are many things to do.
If you are wealthy?
Well, first, let me say, "You got all that money and you ain't taking your partner out on a date night? Just let me look at you a minute."
Okay, come on, you cant' take it with you, go on a date night!
I am not rich, so you are kinda on your own for ideas, but just know that I will be at the park watching to make sure you don't try to get a free date. The park is for the budget challenged only.
I have found that couples who communicate verses those who do not, have deeper, more frequent physical contact, and a deeper understanding of their partner's needs. Even if both groups have good relationships, and all partners are happy.
We all know that men and women communicate differently, so here are a few tips to help those who need a little boost to speak.
For the men, it sounds simple, but it may be difficult for some. All you need to do is actively listen but giving focused attention, acknowledge what she is saying by giving appropriate responses, and lastly, and this is the most important, do not offer advice, or try to fix it. She is a woman, she will figure it out, but first she needs to vent.
For the ladies, this might sound simple, but it may be difficult for some. Before you blow up at him, let him get in the house, and get his coat off. Have a comfortable place for him to sit, and snacks. Remember that he is giving you focused attention, and that may be difficult, so keep it brief.
Bring the spark and spontaneity is not a difficult thing, especially after being blessed with a long-term relationship. Try positively shocking your mate. You both will gain. You both win.