As we all know, life tends to take unexpected turns all the time, and it helps to know how others survive. Undoubtedly, the most stressful time in my life was when I went through my divorce. It takes time, but we all get through eventually. Here are some of the things that helped me persevere through this troubling experience.
Talk it out
The one things I am so thankful for, is having the courage to call the therapist my doctor recommended. Even though we have close friends and family around us to talk to, having someone outside of the situation give their expertise and share their insight is the most valuable thing you can ask for. Seeking help through a therapist has been life-changing for me, and is my number one recommendation for anyone going through a divorce.
Curl up with an enlightening book
I was personally struggling with thoughts that people were going to be angry with me for giving up on my marriage, or hate me for putting them through stress and pain. I was so worried about how everyone else was going to react to my life crisis, I wasn’t taking the time to consider how I felt. It was suggested that I read an amazing book call The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. It was so eye-opening for me, it helped me realize that my decision was right for me, and gave me an entirely new outlook on what I was going through. There are so many other books out there to help you cope and realize that you aren’t alone, but this is definitely at the top of my must-read list.
I originally sought out massage as a way to relieve my anxiety and depression. I loved my first session so much, I ended up signing up for a massage membership which helped me consistently schedule massages at least once a month. What I loved about this is that in that once a month I got to spoil myself and completely forget about all the stress and pain I was going through. It was a relaxing escape, and when going through an emotional roller coaster, it was very much-needed.
I was skeptical at first about trying meditation, but luckily was given a great resource to try. It was suggested that I explore the 21-day Meditation Challenge by Deepak Chopra called Creating Abundance. For around 15 minutes a day Chopra guides you through a meditation. It is easy to follow and incorporate into your daily routine. The results I saw from this challenge were overwhelmingly positive. It was a very relaxing result, and helped clear my thoughts.
Go on a date...with yourself
It may sound odd, but my therapist also encouraged me to go on a date with myself. I was to find something fun, something that I would enjoy and not be afraid to do by myself. I decided to go to the movies alone. At first, it was a strange concept for me. I used to think only losers went to the movies alone, and that it was terribly sad and depressing. But if you think about it, when you go to the movies you aren’t going there and talking to others. Everyone sits in front of a giant screen and watches the film without interacting with others. The first time I went, I felt like people were judging me, but really it was me judging me. I was the only one thinking it was weird. I ended up enjoying myself so much, Sunday matinees became a regular occurrence for me.
Hopefully these tips will encourage you to try something new to get through difficult times. If you have additional ideas, please feel free to share!