1. Be permissible.
Action is needed to educate. When the child is born, he/she is not aware of what is not good or bad, whether he/she can scratch the walls or not. We are the ones who say what is right and what is wrong. Failure to intervene when they do something bad, just for fear or simply because we find it comfortable not to do so, is the beginning of a bad, bad education. If we do not intervene when they do bad things, he/she will think that he/she is not considered or evaluated or loved. Children need certain limits to grow more confident and happy.
2. To Yield
Once you say no, we must stand firm, a NO it’s a NO. There is no negotiation at all, and this is a common misconception of us as parents and it’s a mistake that affects them incredibly. Once we have said no, there's no turning back. And this applies to the television or video games as well. No matter if our children ask us the way they know how to ask; we said no, it’s a no. Most of them are good roll players too and they know we are weak with their supplications. Remember, the “NO”, it’s not negotiated.
3. To be authoritarian in extreme
Everything in excess is bad. If being permissive is not good, then being authoritarian in extreme is bad too. This is going to make the kids grow up with personality problems. We do not want our children to grow up with submissive personalities or without their own initiative.
4. Lack of consistency
If the mother says no or yes, then the father should say no or yes too. There can be no difference in the decisions made by parents. If today is bad scratching the wall, then tomorrow will be bad too. There must be decision support in all senses.
We cannot lose our temper no matter what, but I know how difficult can this be, I must admit. This behavior leads to an abuse that leads to humiliation and lack of self-esteem in the child. We have to ask for help if we are in a situation where we feel we are going to explode.
There are many other mistakes that we as parents make but these five are essential to keep the authority with our children.