Some of these tips may sound simplistic but just give them a chance – even if just some of them – and see the difference.

  1. Resolve to say nothing negative about your spouse today.

  2. Do at least one unexpected gesture to your spouse as an act of kindness.

  3. Buy your spouse something personal that says, "I was thinking about you today."

  4. Contact your spouse sometime during the day and ask how he or she is doing.

  5. Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. Let him/her do so without attacking them. Try to work on them.

  6. Choose to react to tough circumstances in your marriage with love and support instead of with irritation.

  7. On a sheet of paper, write out positive things about your spouse. Pick one attribute from the list and thank your spouse for having the characteristic.

  8. Share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

  9. Think of a way to greet your spouse today to reflect your love for them, and then do it with a smile and enthusiasm.

  10. Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse.

  11. What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Choose one and do it with a smile.

  12. Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse.

  13. Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement and resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

  14. Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse.

  15. Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine.

  16. Start off by aiming for three specific areas in which you would like your marriage to improve.

  17. Determine to guard your spouse's secrets.

  18. Prepare a special dinner at home and focus this time on getting to know your spouse better.

  19. Choose to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.

  20. Work on removing any negative emotion that is hindering your relationship, and making you feel negatively about your spouse.

  21. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it.

  22. Commit to your spouse to make your marriage the top priority over every other relationship of yours.

  23. Tell your spouse that you would like to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel.

  24. Verbally commend your spouse about a recent time when they demonstrated good character in a noticeable way.

  25. Find a marriage mentor by mutual agreement with your spouse, if necessary.

  26. Be conscious of your physical appearance. Pay attention to personal hygiene and good grooming. Most likely the first aspect of you that attracted your spouse was your appearance, so don't think that simply because you are married the task is over. Be aware that you live in a society that places a high premium on physical appearance. It flaunts the shapely female and her muscular counterpart. Jog, join a gym, roller skate, swim and try to stay in shape.

  27. Be a companion to your spouse. Try to show enthusiasm for your spouse's interests and hobbies.

  28. Admit your mistakes and have a forgiving, generous attitude when your spouse errs. Be quick to admit your shortcomings and work to amend them. Be understanding when your spouse does not live up to your ideal and gently try to motivate him or her in the right direction.

  29. Have a sense of humour. Be able to laugh at life's minor aggravations.

  30. Don't flirt with members of the opposite sex. Don't try to test your spouse's affection by feigning interest in someone else. This will only cause resentment.

  31. Share household duties. This is especially for men as most women also work. Who knows? You might find you actually like preparing the evening meal or taking care of junior so your wife can have the afternoon off.

  32. Surprise each other with gifts or an evening out alone.

  33. Leave the kids with a babysitter or with the grandparents for a few hours or overnight and do something together.

  34. Communicate your feelings to one another, good and bad. Tell him how handsome he looks or tell her how beautiful she looks. Where there is disagreement, have an open discussion.

  35. Don' t collect red stamps. Nip problems in the bud.

  36. Live within your means. Stay away from debt if you can. Don't envy the possessions of your friends, family and neighbours, and resent each other because you can't afford it

  37. Respect each other's need for privacy. A quiet time to oneself, either at home or away from home, each day can make a disagreeable person agreeable. This is also emphasised in "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray.

  38. Don 't share personal problems with others. There are a few exceptions to this rule, but if you must discuss personal problems, make sure it is with a person in whom you have the utmost confidence.

  39. Be sensitive to your spouse's moods. If you want to share a personal achievement, don't do it when your spouse is 'down in the dumps '. Wait for the proper time.

  40. Once you have decided your way forward, write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse.

You may be saying to yourself, "This is easier said than done." Well, you're right. A successful marriage doesn't just happen. It's not simply a matter of luck or finding the right person. It takes hard work and determination. It means being selfless and making mistakes. It means having vengeance on your mind but forgiveness in your heart. But, then, your reward will be worth it.