Funny Facebook statuses

I'm addicted to funny Facebook statuses, so today I wanted to share some of my favourite funny one-liners that you can use inside your own update box. It's easy to include these messages in your Facebook profile page (and then share them to other people's home feeds) - just click inside the 'What are you doing' box on your homepage and paste these messages in!

I have tried each of these and they all had a lot of comments from my friends (especially the one about blind dates!). My friends seemed to think that from the quality of dates I usually have, blind people should be my best option! Maybe you think differently - try it today!

Funny Facebook statuses

Example: I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

This is a pun about the phrase 'be negative' and it is certainly true about a lot of people I know! Some people believe that your blood type defines a huge range of characteristics about you, including what you like to eat, your character and more - the only thing that I believe your blood type affects is how many mosquitoes bite you in the summer time! Well, I'm trying to B Positive here!

Example: I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

There was a long period of time when I couldn't get a date to save my life, so I actually asked my friends to help me find a blind date to go on. When she arrived outside the cinema where I was meant to meet her, I decided that I would pretend I didn't recognize her and I ran off! Blind, of course, also means that the person is medically unable to see - so this pun works in two ways! Funny!

Example: I bet you I could stop gambling.

If there's one type of person who should not be involved in betting, it's an addicted gambler! Some people just can't help betting on anything - whether it is their friends, things they watch on TV or more traditionally, sports. So, next time you find someone who is an impulsive gambler, try to make sure that you don't bet them that they can't stop - I'm sure they will take the bet!

Ok, there are some funny Facebook statuses, I hope you try to use them inside your update box soon and see how many people click 'like' and comment. You'll be suprised!

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