Right now, we have many people of all ages blaming their happiness solely on material items. We also hold other people responsible for making us feel happy or the opposite. If they do something that makes us unhappy, we are blaming them. These two ideas are spoiling the contentment of millions of human beings. The concept that happiness is an internal force stems from several ancient religions or beliefs such as Buddhism. However, one mustn't become a Buddhist to take onus for your well-being. Educating yourself on the steps towards vibrant, lasting and true joy is the first step.
Firstly, material things you can buy in a store are all temporary. Your discontent stems from the desire for these material items. The happiness you feel when you receive or buy something is from the relief of a satisfied desire. You don't have to desire this thing anymore, because you have it. And desiring this object is creating unease. Basically, you desiring anything at all is bringing you displeasure. The waiting to get something. The wanting for something. It may seem a bit far-fetched, but you must think about these things. It makes a lot of sense. In modern-day life, most people are just waiting for the next thing they desire to be gotten. Children wait for dessert. Teenagers wait for acceptance. Young Adults wait for money and romance. Adults wait for promotions and more money. Elders wait for happiness. These are not all material things. But they result in unnecessary cravings. Having money, promotions, romance, dessert, etc. is okay. Owning these things or experiencing these things are one hundred percent acceptable. It's just the desire. The thought that you'll be sad without these. The dependence on the idea of owning these experiences and items. These are the behaviors that lead to distress.
Holding others responsible for how you feel is completely wrong. We need to take control of how we feel and stop blaming those around us. Even if they purposely did something to harm us. We can only control how we respond to these happenings. My sister has a mantra she says when she is being effected by someones unfortunate behavior. She says each word per finger "I. Control. My. Own. Happiness." It may sound cheesy but it's important to keep in mind that that's the truth! If a baby is crying in the seat in front of you on a bus. You can choose to get worked up about it. You can get so mad to the point where you want to say something to the parents. You can be annoyed and let it ruin your entire day. OR you can keep in mind that things happen and stay calm. Choose to not focus on it. Look out of the window and focus on something else. Remind yourself that this is a situation you have no control over. There is no way out. You're on a bus. Are you going to get angry and ask yourself the stupid question of why baby's have to cry all the stupid time? Or are you just going to say, hey that sucks for the parents, but at least I didn't miss the bus. It's really hard. I'd be lying if I told you I've mastered this trick. It's incredibly difficult. But it's make a world of a difference. This kind of situation is happening everywhere. We need to learn and teach everyone else the right way to live. The happy way to live.
More is to come on this topic. I'm still mourning the 5000 word article in which I by accidentally deleted.