Put down your pain and walk away from it.
Here's a question for you. If you had a buddy that constantly drug up "that thing" you did when you were 19, or that always provided you with a play by play of your worst insecurities at every unimaginable opportunity, would you really consider that person a friend? Would you believe they had your best interest at heart?
I'm sure your answer is a resounding no, right? I mean, who in their right (or even wrong) mind would want anyone on their team that isn't batting for them?
If this is true, and you absolutely wouldn't want someone like that in your life, why do you allow yourself to be "that" friend? Why is it ok for you to cling to your past, holding on for dear life, afraid to release your grip? Rehashing your worst moments, the inappropriate things you may have said, the times in your life where you felt or were abused, hurt, angry, devalued, maybe even unloved?
Everytime you pull up an unhappy time from your past and dwell on it all you are doing is taking 3 steps back. This is crucial AND counterproductive because to get anywhere in your personal journey you typically only take one step at a time. So for every one positive step in the right direction you take, chances are you will still end up going nowhere since you refuse to let go.
Here are a few ways to begin to get over it, get over yourself and get out of your own way:
Accept that things happened, even though you wish they had not, because you can't change it.
Understand that you aren't the only one to experience negativity. It's not just you.
When old issues start to creep up, journal about your thoughts and feelings.
Take your power back and decide that you aren't going to allow your past to control you anymore.
Forgive yourself and even those that didn't do right by you.
- Seek out professional therapy. Ask for help.
As someone who has had their fair share of experiences I'd not wish on my least favorite person, there is no way that now, knowing what I know, I would allow myself to live in the past. There is such a beautiful future ahead for you if only you allow it to form and take place. No, this does not mean that there won't be other low points as you travel ahead. But what it does mean is that once you open your hand and let go of your grip of the past, you allow yourself to receive and be open to new and beautiful experiences.
Open your hand. Let go. Your time is now.