5 Tips for a Successful Marriage
A Guide for Men
All of my life I have prefered the company of women. They are smarter than we are, prettier than we are, softer than we are, and smell better than we do.
Unfortunately, for most men (including myself), women remain a complete mystery. Their thought process is so different that we have a difficult time understanding what they want from us, or, for that matter, from life in general.
I truly believe that it's a "left brain/right brain" sort of thing. We (men) go through life guided by logic while they see everything through a vail of emotion. I fail to understand Mother Nature's reasoning in making things this way, but the fact remains that it is, and we must work with what we have.
The problem is...we tend to make this a lot harder than it has to be.
I believe that, for the most part, the first item on the list of what women want from a long-term relationship is the knowledge that she is just as important to you as you are to her. Uncertainty is a virus that can run through any relationship and destroy it's very foundation.
Fortunately, there is a vaccine that can easily keep the virus at bay. It's called communication!
Hold On! Stop rolling your eyes and pay attention!
I don't mean the kind of communication that forces you into long heartfelt talks about your feelings. Nobody wants to open that can of worms!
There are, however, some simple things that you can do every day to keep the virus at bay. It may take a bit of effort at first, but in a very short time you'll find yourself doing them without even thinking.
By way of example, may I offer five simple suggestions that can make a real difference to your best girl...
For Most Men, Coming & Going is a Lost Opportunity
So, it's time to leave for the office. You really don't want to go, but you must and you can't put it off any longer.
Last sip of coffee...give Fido a quick pat on his head...a quick kiss for the wife...and you're out the door.
What a waste! But, it gets even worse.
After a hard day, you finally get home...
And, it's "Hi, Honey! I'm Home!"
Grab a beer from the fridge, run Fido out of your favorite chair and plop down in front of the TV.
Yeah! That'll make her all warm and fuzzy!
Why not try this, instead...
Anytime (and every time) you have to leave her, go where she is, make eye contact (very important), and give her a real hug and a real kiss. Make her feel that leaving her is the hardest thing you'll have to do all day.
And, when you return, do it all again! Let her know just how happy you are to be back.
That will make her warm and fuzzy. And that can only be good for you...right?
Laughter Truly Is Amazing Medicine
Marriage is supposed to be for life, and, "for life" is a really long time. Sharing laughter along the way can make it a delightful trip.
Learn how to make her laugh, or giggle, or even smile and she'll lay the keys to happiness at your feet.
Remember when it was all new? The two of you could sit and chat for hours. You could talk about anything, everything, and even nothing.
Unfortunately, as life goes along, other things demand more and more of our time. Your job, the children, the house and lawn...the list just goes on and on.
And, the time we have to just sit and chat gets shorter, or even disappears.
Don't let this happen to you! Find the time to just sit and chat. Just the two of you.
If you can't find the time...make the time! It's that important.
At our house, it's when I get in from work. My Bride (of 20+ years!) and I will sit at the dining room table, have a glass of wine, and talk about the day. Nothing earth shattering, mind you. Just a chat.
Perhaps I'll talk about the latest antics of my idiot boss, and she'll tell me about the dumb-ass box boy at the grocery that put her loaf of bread in the bag before the 10 pound bag of carrots.
What you chat about isn't important. Taking a short time to have the chat is!
Never Forget Thank You!
Contrary to the headlines you see at the supermarket check out line, a failed marriage is most often found at the end of a long road. Passing time breeds familiarity, and that familiarity can cause a husband to fall into what I call an "expecting mode". It's a weakness that's built into the character of the male animal.
If you think about it, I'm quite sure you can find many things that your wife does each day for you. In the beginning we think "Wow! This is great!". As time passes and familiarity builds, it becomes more of "the way it is" and you find yourself expecting her to do it all.
No marriage can be happy if one partner feels that they're being taken for granted. That kind of feeling is like a pebble rolling down a mountain. Left alone, it can pick up more pebbles, and then rocks, and then boulders that can't be stopped until they crash at the bottom.
Don't allow this to happen! Never let a day pass without letting her know that you appreciate all that she does for you.
It can really be as simple as saying "Thank You!" But...if that thank you comes with a little hug and kiss, it'll warm her all the way to her toes.
And, Finally... (I Should Charge You Money For This One!)
Of all the powers that Mother Nature has bestowed on the human animal, the power of touch is easily the most powerful. It can communicate a level of intimacy and affection that is beyond mere words.
I don't mean the hugging, snuggling kind of touch. Nor do I refer to the urge we men get to reach out and tickle her (insert your favorite body part here!).
I mean the kind of touch that lets her know that you're thinking of her when you're otherwise engaged. Reach over and give her hand a light squeeze when you're watching TV. Or, perhaps a pat on her tush while she's cooking.
Simple stuff, really! But, oh so powerful!
Develop your own power of touch and use it liberally. It will make you a better husband and maybe even a better man.
Romance Is Not A 4 Letter Word!
Neither is it the kind of stuff you see in soap operas and old Errol Flynn movies.
Romance remains a mystery to most men, but to a woman in a committed relationship, it's the very breath of life. That makes it something we need to learn (or, re-learn).
Michael Webb (No Relation) is a world-renowned author that has written a number best-selling ebooks on the subject of relationships and marriage, saving an untold number of marriages with his expert advice.
Oprah Winfrey has made him her "relationship expert" for his insight and understanding of the female mind.
I bring this up here because one of Michael's most popular ebooks is "101 Romantic Ideas" . This short book is filled with suggestions that can turn any husband into a true romantic without too much work. Even if you don't want to use any of his ideas, the book will remind you of what romance is and allow you to form ideas of your own.
And, best of all...it's free! No cost...No signup...Nothing!
READ IT ONLINE or SAVE A COPY on your computer.
OK! Maybe is was a bit more than 10 minutes, but I can assure you that these 5 tips for a successful marriage will make you a better husband...if you use them!