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Going Out as a Transgender Person

By 10 5

dancing
Credit: Image courtesy of [image creator name] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tips for your first time out

     The whole point of this operation is to go out as your feminine self and enjoying it. If you never go out dressed as a women you will never get to experience your new gender role. If you don’t get to experience how it feels in your new gender role, in the context of interacting with other people out in public, then you will never know how you feel about the whole experience. You will never get to know if transition is right for you.

 Where to Go: Picking the perfect place for your first time out is incredibly important!

  • The best place to go for your first time is a club to dance. It’s a very nice way to interact with people and you’re not going to experience complex interactions there, where you have to be perfect in your new gender role.
  • People are there to have fun and not to judge you most of the time.
  • A LGBT club would be a great choice for your first time out
  • They will not be surprised and will not likely judge you. There are some acceptions to the rule of course and gay people can be just as mean as anyone else. However I have had very little of this experience in my trips to the local LGBT club.
  • Not all gay clubs are totally gay; some of them are open but not exclusively gay. Make sure you know what type of gay club you are going too. "Straight" people are going to be more “shocked” by you than LGBT people and can ruin your evening with just a glance. Try to minimize the cisgender factor and maximize the LGBT!
  • You can feel comfortable there, meet people and make friends!

How to get there: Not on the bus and not alone!

  • Take friends with you, they will help with your safely. You want to have someone around to help defend you if anything wrong happens. I have found people are less likely to bother you if you are not alone.
  • Go there in a car directly to the location of the club.
  • Public transportation at night (or anytime for that matter) is not safe. I cannot count the negative experiences I have had on the Bus, Skytrain or Subway.
  • If none of your friends have a car then take a taxi.

What are you going to wear: Looking fabulous can be fun and exciting!

  • Get your friends to help you pick out an outfit. Pass-ability is important as it is very hard to be treated as a woman or man if people do not see you as one or the other. People in general treat you as the gender they perceive you to be. So do your best but don’t kill yourself, you can get away with not being perfectly pass-able in a gay bar.
  • Try to pick out outfits that make your silhouette look as feminine as possible. A good example would be choosing black for its slimming effect. If you are going for more masculine effects then look for clothing that accentuates your masculinity.
  • You cannot expect to be perfect on the first night out, you have many years to perfect your look. Just be comfortable and happy with your outfit.
  • Avoid overdoing things as much as possible, you want to look natural and not like a drag queen/king. The more attention you draw to yourself the more people are going to figure out that you are transgender.

What to do in the club: Now that you are in the club and looking fabulous with your        friends, what are you going to get up too?!

  • How about dancing? You can dance with your friends and have a lot of fun. If you sit in a corner alone then you are not going to have a lot of fun.
  • If you are very uptight, they have these things in clubs called drinks that may help you out with that issue. I don’t advocate over drinking, but a couple of well placed red bulls and vodka might just do the trick!
  • You’re in the club to have fun and enjoy your new gender role. Ask people to dance or accept invitations to dance you.
  • Don’t worry at this point about how your voice sounds; the club music is going to be so loud that it does not matter.

      So go out and have fun; enjoy your new gender identity. This is the time to explore, to learn and to experience! It’s the most fantastic, exciting and wonderful time of your transition. There is so much to experience and learn, you only get to transition once so savor it!

The Transgender Handbook
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(price as of Apr 1, 2014)
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Comments

Jun 13, 2013 4:52am
BJ_Hansen
Great article! I joined IB yesterday, and this is the first piece that I have read. I am a trans woman from Australia. Three years on HRT, and madly saving for surgery late 2014.
Your piece reminded me of my first time at a club as a trans girl many years ago. What a night!
Very enjoyable and readable article. Rated up as soon as I work out how to do it :)

Bronwyn
May 8, 2014 7:49am
vicdillinger
You know, Michele, I think this is the part (that you nailed here) that many people forget: you want to LIVE and enjoy life! Good piece, big thumb, tweeted, +1'd, etc.
Jun 1, 2014 7:48pm
Vallin
I'd especially "LIKE" to go out with Michelle ;)
(Hey...I'm workin' on it!)
Jun 1, 2014 7:55pm
Vallin
I've heard throughout the community that many trans*people go out their first time during the Halloween season (especially good if you wear a wig). Also during Pride events or Transgender Conferences like the UK's Sparkle or Atlanta's Southern Comfort. The local businesses are best prepared during these events.
Aug 21, 2014 7:30am
Monalisa9922
It would be great experience going out in female dress. Feeling the touch of silky dresses on your skin every moment and getting excited by each and every appreciating looks you get...I am yet to get that experience.
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