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By Edited Mar 13, 2016 0 0

If you're reading this you are either a male who has just landed the dream date of his life, someone you've been wanting to date for a number of reasons and who you're hot for, or a girlfriend and/or wife that wishes to drop your man a slap to the face hint on how you need to be treated to be happy?  Whichever category you fit into, identifying this issue from a male perspective with a female's needs in mind, here's how to impress your dream girl on the first date and try to keep her for the rest of your life.

Okay fellahs, so you've just seen the dream girl of your life, or maybe it's someone you've known for a while and have been hot for, and you want to ask her out on a date. The question is not to ask but suggest going together to some recreational activity with a romantic tone to it.  First of all, you need to know what it is that this dream girl likes to do, so, it is important that you talk to her on as many occasions as you can on a more none threatening, social, level and find out what she likes to do in her spare time. You can boldly walk up to her and begin interrogating her as to what she does for recreation and promptly suggest that the two of you do some of these things together, but, if you haven't established that rapport, you're setting yourself up for major rejection. When you find some common ground interests that you share, delve deeper into those interests with her, and begin to deepen the friendship and rapport that you are trying to achieve. For deeper love, it's important to try and be friends before you can be lovers, although sometimes if you have friendship one or both of you may have a hard time transitioning to anything more.  At a time when you begin to feel more comfortable, start suggesting, "Let's go and do this together," and state a specific time and date to do that. If you don't mention a specific time and date, or event, she may think that you are being superficial and anything less won't develop into anything in the future as she will probably blow you off as being insincere.  If you get a refusal, simply reiterate that you thought it might be fun, since you share this specific same interest, whatever it is, to do this social activity just as friends. If you tone down the, "I'm trying to hit on you attitude," and more of the, "I simply want to be friends with you just as I would any of my bros," then a rejection may be rescinded, but there's no guarantees.  Instead of aiming for the "Hot date," try several friendly lunches or coffee at the local café to start out until transference begins to set in and the two of you become closer emotionally and on a more familiar basis.  You should, at some point in time, get gut instincts as to what feels right and comfortable for you with this person.  Always listen to your gut, and watch the body language in addition to what this dream girl states in response to your pursuits. 

Okay, so now you have a positive response and you're actually at the state where it has reached the formal evening date with your dream girl?  What now you may nervously ask?  First of all, depending on where you're going, dress to impress.  Even if it's a casual date, no jeans hanging down and showing your boxer shorts, no matter how in fashion or cool you think it is! The key to the dilemma is, dress as if you were going to an interview, which, in a manner of sorts, you kind of are.  You're trying to sell yourself as wanting to be with your date, even if it's for a one nighter, which I don't recommend, by showing her how worthy of her friendship, love, and affection you truly are. Shirts should be tucked in, clothes clean with no tears, rips, or anything else that may demote your appearance, and keep the aftershave or cologne to an acceptable light fragrance. Hair should be neat and tidy, groomed appropriately, and not dangling in your face, or anywhere that it could hang in your food if you're going to dinner! Shoes should be clean, looking as good as new, with any laces or fastenings tied and fixed appropriately. It may seem that such information is simplistic, but, not to some.  If you haven't determined exactly where you are going before your date night, always ask your lady where she would like to go, and if she says she doesn't care, it's up to you, and it's your choice, make sure you have the evening well planned out before you pull up in your car outside her house. Make sure your car is cleaned, smelling good, with all papers, files, and trash either neatly put in the trunk or the trash!  

On the night that you are due to go on this hot date, be sure to arrive five minutes early as opposed to five minutes late.  Upon pulling up outside her house, be assured that, yes, you do have to get out of the car and ring the doorbell.  No pulling up outside her house and honking the horn for your date to run out to you, you have to get out of the car!  Depending on how well you this lady before going on this first, official date, it is polite to carry her a rose.  A red rose, meaning love, for someone you've just met or not known for a long time where there are no deep rooted feelings on both sides, is very phony and superficial.  It would be better to carry your date a yellow rose, which is indicative of friendship, that would offer a more sincere emotion and a good beginning for any relationship. Upon approaching the car, even though we know, unless she has some disability, that she can open her own car door, in the face of chivalry, this is your responsibility to open the car door for your date and allow her to be comfortably seated with feet in the car before you shut the car door. Make sure that she also wears her seatbelt to.  At the same time, when you arrive to your destination, make sure you hop out of the car first and open the door for her to exit.  Opening doors is expected in all instances, be it to the restaurant, theatre, or wherever the two of you are headed. This is always a very impressive tactic that most women truly love. Whether you are going to the theatre or to a restaurant, it is polite for your date to be seated before you. In a restaurant, make sure you pull out the seat for her to be seated and only then can you be seated also.  As far as ordering goes, you must obtain what it is that she would like to eat and/or drink, and you're the one responsible for talking to and ordering from the waiter. Always make sure that you include necessary amounts of "Please," and "Thank you," here to, as these two little words carry a large amount of importance in their frequent and appropriate use.  As my father would say, "Manners maketh a man!"   At the time your meal is brought to you, again, you don't start eating until she does, sorry, but that's the rules of social etiquette. So, if the restaurant brings your meal first, or messes up hers such that it's got to be recooked, you must instruct your waiter to then take back your dinner and bring the two orders together.  When the dinner is over, even though your date may offer to pay her share or for the tip, this is a major no, no.  You pay for everything including the tip.  Again, your date is probably taking in mental notes throughout the evening and this maybe a test to see how truly chivalrous you are.  When exiting the restaurant, and going to the car, again, you must open the doors for your lady to go through first, and make sure that she is securely in her seat and seat belt before closing the car door on her! 

Okay, so you've come to the end of your date, what now you ask?  How do I close this out and ask for another date? If you've had a good time, things went well, and you truly would like to see this lady again, open the car door for her to exit and walk her to her door.  As she begins to bid you goodnight, this is the time to suggest, "Let's get together on such and such a date at such and such a time and do such and such."  You must offer a specific date, time, and activity for any less than that will be considered superficial and insincere.  If you get the "I'm busy doing this or that on this or that night," attempt to offer two other times to meet up again, and if that is met with "I'm busy those nights to," then simply offer to call her and either give her your phone number or, if you don't already know it, offer her yours.  Depending how well you know this lady prior to this hot date, may depend on how you bid her a goodnight.  For someone you're not too familiar with prior to this date, a hug and/or a kiss on the cheek may suffice with a set date and time to meet again. This not only shows sincerity, but respect for the other person and will usually be met with revelations of positive feelings about you as a man. Too many times, some women may feel that all men are merely ravenous dogs that are out for a good time only before going on to the next conquest.  This goodnight greeting will only assist in defusing that concept in your lady's mind.  If your lady offers for you to come in for a drink, no matter how much you want to, a drink, some chat, and a superficial kiss or two is it, and anything further, unless you've known this person a long time, should usually be met with, "I want to get to know you better," or "I respect you too much and want to date you more before we go further," at this time.  Even if you have known this person a while on friendly terms, for the most part, this will spur your lady on to let her know that you truly value her as a potential friend, lover, mate, and that you're not out for a quick fun night, wham bam thank you ma'am, and I don't care if I never see you again mentality that all too many men seem to have.  For most decent women, I believe, this will reap humongous points in your favor and throw her off guard when you return with this kind of respect.  The rule of thumb, no matter how old fashioned this may seem in this day and age, is one hundred hours of intimate talking and being together, or dating continuously for three months or more before becoming physically intimate.  In this way then, it is anticipated, that the two of you will not only bond physically, but there will be prior emotional and spiritual bonding to making for a much deeper and more fulfilling, romantic relationship. 

After a year of dating, or more, and preferably not eight years or so unless you began dating in high school, you decide that this lady is the girl of your dreams and the one that you want to be with forever.  In wanting your girlfriend to marry you, even if you're sure of the positive answer you'll get, make the proposal one that constantly brings tears to her eyes years later when you're an old married couple.  The first question is, what kind of ring do I need to buy to impress the love of my life, where she can be proud to show off the engagement ring that I buy for her to all of her friends, and how do I present it to her?  As far as diamonds go, any man, given an ocean of money could literally spend a fortune on buying that one special diamond for the love of his life.  In this day of hard economic times though, as my father would also say, "It's the thought that counts."  My mother, on the other hand, being a woman much like most women, I believe, would probably disagree with that somewhat.  Most girls want some kind of pretty diamond ring that they can gleefully show off to all their friends and work colleagues.  So where do you draw the line on what kind of diamond to buy and how much do you spend on one?  The social etiquette books will tell you that a man should spend three months' salary on a diamond for his wife to be, but with most people getting their time cut in their relative places of employment, and/or not having a job at all, this is not very realistic.  In those cases, probably, I would either buy one with a minimum of two affordable payments for whatever it is that you can afford, try to find a family heirloom to offer, or buy whatever is within your financial reach without putting yourself at the cliff of financial ruin.  Pretty much, for those not so financially compromised, a one carat VS1, either G or H, would impress most women that I know of.  This diamond, depending on where you buy, is not going to be cheap, but it will be reasonably impressive. Now that you have picked out the kind of diamond that she will be totally in awe of, and, of course, somehow you must also be aware of what size ring she would require, without letting her know of your intents, then comes the manner in which you are going to propose to your lady in a way that she will not be able to refuse and will bring her to tears of joy. 

For those ladies that like big shows of appropriate, public affection, to propose in front of a crowd is cute, wonderful, and very romantic if the man requesting knows that he is going to get a yes.  Nothing makes anyone feel more embarrassed for a fellah asking for a ladies hand where he is met with a "Sorry, no, I don't want to marry you."  Here you must put your most creative mind at work and tailor it to the likes and needs of the lady that you wish to marry you, and if you're stuck for ideas, ask her family and friends but be sure that they are sworn to secrecy.  Taking a romantic trip together, in a restaurant having dinner, at a family cookout, or any number of other social gatherings or places would be appropriate recruiting the assistance of all those wherever you happen to be at the time and all prearranged to the last detail.  Even a photographer on hand, or video guy would be a great and romantic way in catching the moment for the future recollection of both. For the most part, I don't know too many women who would not be impressed by a man that went to a lot of trouble to propose to her having made a mass of prior arrangements to make that moment extra special and memorable.  So, be as creative as you possibly can and knock yourself out to go overboard in this endeavor and impress to the max. If you don't include the family in this prior to the proposal, impress her even more after she says yes by insisting that you want to go to her father and request his approval for becoming his daughter's husband.  She'll love you to pieces for that!  

Okay, she said yes and the wedding is in the planning stages.  In order to keep emotions on the ground where they belong, be supportive of your lady in planning whatever, give your input where it's requested, but, for the most part, let a wedding planner and/or your lady plan the wedding using your help when needed and her family and friends.  This will be your day together, but, mostly, the day that she's dreamed of all her life ever since she was a little girl.  Make sure that you show an interest where it's required, have some thoughts and needs of your own, but, mostly, leave the final say so up to her. Even if you only go to the local beach for a week, always try to have a honeymoon somewhere special to the two of you or a place that you both like and/or always wanted to visit together.  Obviously, try to keep the expense of the wedding down, for, it is said, most marriages break up over money issues and you don't want to start life paying off a twenty thousand dollar wedding or more now do you?  Diffuse arguments between potential in-laws before they even start, as family members seem to get very emotional and irrational the closer to the wedding day that it gets, and go on with what you and your future wife want for this one special day in the life of the two of you.  After this day of a lifetime is over, the honeymoon behind you, how do you keep the romance and love alive where so many marriages are ending in divorce?

Again, the rule of thumb, the best I know it, all too late for me, is this. A married couple should go on a date at least once a week. Just as the time that you first tried to capture this fantastic woman for your mate, so to you should exhibit the same behaviors.  The man has to actually ask for the date each and every time and not take it for granted that on this day or that day of the week "My wife and I are automatically going on a date!"  I know that with both partners working and, especially, when children come into the picture, it's hard to make the time, but if you are to keep the romance alive and be together forever this is something you must make time for. In addition to the one or two nights a week date night, each month the two of you must take a weekend away somewhere.  Even if it's only at the next town or the local beach, again, this is a very important must for the two of you to escape together.  As before, the man must ask the wife to please accompany him on this once a month trip.  As far as annually, at least one or two weeks away together on a major trip to some far off land or place that the two of you have special memories of when you were dating, or have always wanted to mutually visit together.  I don't think that it hurts for the partners to also take some vacations and time out with friends, preferably, reliable, married friends that are stable in their relationships and not looking for some adulterous adventure away from the other partner!  In this way, where the two of you are apart for a brief time with friends, the rejoining together and sharing your adventures with each other could add to the joy of reuniting back as a couple again.  So this must continue for the duration of the marriage and even when children arrive on the scene. 

On a daily basis, it's so important to show love, kindness, and respect for your partner and never take what you have for granted.  I remember my father used to come home from work each day and the very first thing he would do when he walked in the door was to find my mother, hug and kiss her hello, and ask what she had been doing during the day or how her day went.  Every time he left the house, he would kiss her and hug her bye and let her know when he intended on being back or when he would see her again if he was going away on business. On occasion, he would call my mother, when we finally had a phone in the house, which my father was inappropriately opposed to for the longest time, and ask how she was doing, was everything okay, and he would tell her bye and that he loved her before hanging up.  They often would disagree over certain things, playfully bicker back and forth, but they would never go to bed angry, not that I remember.  These are the behaviors that held their marriage together until such time as my father died, on their ruby anniversary indicating fifty years of marriage.  These are the behaviors that each partner needs to exhibit towards each other on a daily basis that would help keep their love, kindness, and respect for each other alive and well adding to the romance of their relationship.  In our busy lives of today, all too often, with kids, schedules, school, sports games that parents are compelled to attend in support of the kids, people begin to take each other for granted, forget to pay each other that special attention that made them fall in love with each other, and the business of each day becomes a wedge that pries them apart further and further away from each other.  As one fellah told me while trying to hold his marriage together, "Being married is like working two full time jobs."  I couldn't have said it better myself.  Two people working together to make their relationship a priority over everyone and everything else, and keep the romance alive.  It's not only about impressing on that first day, although that's obviously the starting point, but those same behaviors have to be exhibited on a regular basis to impress and keep the relationship together for the rest of your lives.  Do that fellahs and, for the most part, if you have a decent lady, she'll be so impressed that she'll love you forever and never leave you being grateful for the wonderful man that so bent over backwards to impress and pursue her. 

Love, Hearts, & Flowers
Credit: Designed by Klacey J. Smith


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