Infidelity, he cheats on you, 10 reasons why it is your fault
Marriage is a very complex issue. At times you wonder and ask whatever happens to the promise "till death do us part". Marriage is the union of two imperfect people. What do you expect when you put to imperfect beings together? Infidelity is so common nowadays that you wonder how some marriages survive to celebrate their golden jubilee. Those are of course the exceptions. How many marriages fail due to infidelity? More than you would care to think about. It is not unusual for friends and families to take sides and blame the guilty partner. In marriage, nothing is quite so simple. Only those involved know really what is going on or what went wrong. At times they don't tend to have a clue either. Those on the outside can only get a glimpse of the dilemma. The problem with marital infidelity these days is that nobody really cares. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Most people go into marriage thinking they could easily walk out if it doesn't work out. It is not that easy. Marriage is hard and so is getting a divorce. How many people have been ruined when they go through divorce? Marital infidelity is a lose/lose situation. Those who come out unscathed are the fortunate few who concentrated on damage control. Here is a list of 10 reasons why his infidelity might be your fault.
- Married man: You stole him from his former wife and you think you've got something special between the two of you. No matter how horrible is former wife was, cheating on her is not the ideal solution. Did he make a mistake in choosing her? Is he making a mistake in having an affair with you? The answers to these questions are obvious. A good marriage is based on a good foundation. What type of foundation are you building with getting involved with a married man? Your foundation will be really shaky and will most likely not withstand future pressures and temptations.
- Lover Boy: He is smooth, slick and tells you what you want to hear. He will sooner or later be bored of you and will move on. You've heard the saying if it is too good to be true, it probably is. Lover boys will always tell you what you want to hear. They will also tell the other woman the same. They are loveable and adorable but are not marriage material. If you fall for one, you should not be surprise if he suddenly wonders off into the sunset. Everything comes with a price tag and a lover boy comes at a price.
- Open Marriage: You agreed to it in the first place so when he gets emotionally glued to someone else you only have yourself to blame. Why would anyone agree to such a thing? It is mostly due to living a lie. The illusion that an open marriage can spice things up is just not true. If you want to know more about this, you should read up about what happened to the open marriage of Robin Gibbs. If you think that name sounds familiar, it should. Robin Gibbs is one of the members of the group the Bee Gees. The group that gave us the song Staying Alive and did a brilliant duet with Celine Dion called Immortality. In a nutshell, the open marriage that Robin Gibbs had with Edwina caused a lot of marital unhappiness.
- Swinger: You met at a swinger's club and got on really well. You should ask yourself what type of a man visits a swinging club. What time of a woman would want to get married to someone she meets at a swinger's venue? It is all about sex and the thrill of having multiple partners. B.B king ones sang the thrill is gone. Yes once the thrill wears out, where do you go next?
- Age: Age is not just a number. If you got involve with someone old enough to be your son, he might later move on and leave you wanting. Yes you've heard about the famous cougars. Here is a definition of cougar from the urban dictionary. "An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie". The world cougar is now the opposite of the word sugar daddy. Does the name Demi Moore means anything to you?
- Friends: Your friend is taking a liking to your other half and you still invite her around and she is still your best friend. Some friends are best kept at a very long distance from your man. Some are addicted to anything others have. Friends don't do that. That is a popular saying which means that true friends are not supposed to be self serving. Not when it comes to your husband anyway.
- Nightclub: You met at a dodgy nightclub and he still likes to go there. He will probably meet another you and leave you hanging.
- Flirt: He likes to flirt with other women and you are too shy to confront him. Flirting is not inoffensive no matter how you look at it. If he wants to flirt, he can flirt with you for as long as he wants. That is why you are together. If he doesn't get that message and you don't have the courage to instill that value, then, there is only one outcome to his action.
- Confusion: If you don't know what you want out of a potential partner, you are in for trouble. You will probably end up with someone who doesn't share the same values as you and the confusion will lead him astray.
- Satisfaction: You've got issues in your head that you have been unable to sort out. If that becomes a wall between your partner and you, he might end up looking for satisfaction with another woman. Sort out your problem before getting involved with someone else.
Infidelity can have disastrous effect on a marriage and it will be too late to save what is left. The best cure is prevention. Marriage is a lifelong project, you never finish working to build and make it stronger. Its success depends on you as well as it depends on your spouse.