Ways to Help Deal with Anger

Anger is an emotion we all experience in our lives.  It is a normal emotion that occurs because of an injustice or perceived lack of concern from people we love.  It is not wrong to be angry, but for some of us, anger is debililitating, affecting every area of our lives.  When we constantly get angry we hurt not only yourselves but jeopardize our own wellbeing.

Anger affects our physical wellbeing.  When we repress anger and hostility it can raise our blood pressure and stress levels and even cause illness or worsen illness.

The first step in dealing with anger is recognizing there is a problem.  If your anger consumes you and affects you most of your day, anger is controlling you.  So, admit you need help.

In addition recognize that anger is a choice.  You do not have to express your anger in destructive ways.  You can choose to deal with your swelling anger by choosing not to react negatively.

Below are five helpful ways to help you deal more effectively with your anger:

1. Evaluate the situation before you react.  If you do not have all of the information, you may react prematurely and worsen the situation.  Make a mental choice to gather the information before you display any reaction.  Once you have evaluated the situation your feelings may have changed.  Ask the other person if an explanation can be given or if the person is upset with you.  Ask the other person what they are doing.  Use these probing questions to gather information before you react in a negative way.

2. Find out if you are displacing your anger.  Sometimes we get angry at our children or significant others because of repressed anger from work or other situations.  Review who actually caused this anger and you may realize how much anger you have carried with you since the incident.


3. Think before you speak.  If the situation warrants your displeasure, watch what you say and how you say it.  Discipline your mind to speak words that won't hurt the other person.

4. Don't repress your anger.  It is not a good idea to carry anger around for long periods of time.  If this happens you may verbally explode in the next situation that angers you.  Do not withdraw in silence.  Express your anger by making "I" statements to the other person such as, "I feel angry when..." Don't point the blame in the other person's direction.  No solution will come from blaming others.  Talk about your feelings without harming your relationships.

5. Evaluate your angry feelings.  Evaluate why you are angry and if your anger is justified.  Ask yourself if there is another way you can look at the situation, or if you are jumping to conclusions.

Don't let anger ruin your life and your relationships.  It is normal to have angry feelings and express anger.  Anger becomes a problem when we draw our loved ones away from us.  Don't allow anger to consume you.  Read the above advice as many times as needed and begin to incorporate the steps into your life.  Your anger will not disappear overnight, it may take time, but it is possible.  Anger is a choice and we can make a choice to respond in kindness and love instead.

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