When people are going through a divorce or possible divorce, they may not be able to act in an emotionally positive way. Divorce is one of the most difficult times a person can go through. To help a friend through a divorce, the best advice is to stay neutral and be positive about the situation.
Point the person to counseling and if they are open to it will be a big help. It may be that both partners do not want to keep the marriage together. That’s OK though. It’s important that measures are taken in a normal marriage situation. (not in abuse cases), to preserve the marriage. This will make it so there are no regrets later. Counseling can show that both parties are open to the option of staying together or at least trying to work it out. If both parties don’t want to go to counseling, you should still point your friend in the direction of counseling. Divorce is an extremely difficult road to travel and having a professional counselor may help your friend through it. This may help them go on with their lives and repair it in a normal and positive way.
Be positive in all situations. Positive reinforcement can help the person feel there is hope. It can give them the momentum they need to work it out if it’s hopeful. If they are not working towards a solution with their partner, a positive attitude will help them think in a positive manner too.
You might suggest they go to a local church or make an appointment with their pastor or priest if they already attend. Some churches have groups for when people are going through divorces or are considering divorce. It can be helpful to be with other people in the same situation.
Don’t make negative comments about your friends spouse or partner. You might think that it helps them to be on their side, but it won’t. They may repair their marriage and it may come back and haunt you. Besides this would be focusing on the negative, not the positive.
Listening is more helpful. Your opinion will not repair things and in most cases, people just want someone to listen to them. Pointing your friend toward professional help is what is most useful to them. Be supportive without adding to the problem. This is the best way to help your friend through a divorce.
Encourage your friend to read self-help books that are geared towards divorce. There is a lot of information on the market in regards to this subject. Positive books in general would also be a good suggestion.
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