So your girlfriend can't stop watching the Gilmore Girls. And you wouldn't mind so much except it takes over her entire life. A simple question about what's new prompts a response about people you don't know, like "Richard and Emily split up and Lorelai is just about to open the Dragonfly and oh, you'll never guess, Rory just slept with Dean!" What is worse is that this entire sentence comes out in the same amount of time it took you to ask "What's new?"
If you don't count in the bonus footage available, the entire series takes 6885 minutes to watch, that is nearly 115 hours. If your girlfriend watches three hours a night, it will take almost 40 days to get through. This will seem like a lot to you, but it won't to your girlfriend. For most fans, the Gilmore Girls evokes a feeling of warm, homey feelings. Filled with hysterical side characters, the series explores family bonds, the search for love and discovering who you are, regardless you your age. While this makes no sense to most men, it will be perfectly clear to your girlfriend. Unfortunately, she won't make any sense at all until she gets down to the end of the last episode. So you may as well just let her do it. If you are being slowly sucked into the world of Stars Hollow, here are some coping strategies.
Leave the Room, or Better Yet, the House
Your girlfriend doesn't want you around anyhow. She is busy trying to figure out if you are a Dean or a Luke or a Max. She is also enjoying references to leg shaving and bra size, so it really isn't as if you want to share this experience with her. Each episode is 45 minutes, so you have a pretty good incriment of time to work with. You can listen to a new album or get a beer with the guys. The Gilmore Girls are forever encouraging their men to do what interests them while they go to town meetings or eat junk food on the couch. So if you are out improving your pool skills with a cold beer in hand, simply call in and say you are staying for another one. It won't take you long to work out the ideal timing, just remember it is all done in sets of 45.
Also, if you absolutely must have her attention during a Gilmore Girls marathon, then your only opportunity is when Carole King singing. You will have to talk over this of course, because the song is essential to setting the mood, but that is your window of opportunity.
Use This As An Excuse to Eat Junk Food or Drink Martinis
If you and your girlfriend are trying to eat healthier, you might suggest that she watch some Gilmore Girls when you need a hamburger. Lorelai and Rory eat the more junk than you would think is legal to show on tv. Of course they balance this with five-star meals when visiting the grandparents, but that is about the only time they have a proper meal. While your girlfriend is on a Gilmore Girls marathon, you should be able to get away with cheeseburgers, chilli fries, pizza with extra cheese and as many pancakes as you can swallow. Your girlfriend will not think you are strange if you suggest ordering everything off a Chinese menu either.
The Gilmore Girls drink more coffee than anything else (of course you know that already, don't you), and only occasionally do they drink or get drunk. But if you declare yourself part of Team Lorelai, you can have plenty of gin martinis - no ice. At one point, her mom is convinced she drinks Sidecars, so if you are up for that, you can probably get away with it also. If your girlfriend is a Rory however, she will stick to club soda, unless you offer something like Founder's Day punch, which sounds like a lot of work. So, just tell her to grow up to Lorelai and start mixing martinis.
You Need to Pretend to Follow
You don't need to know everything, but unless you want it in more detail, you had better be able to play along. Here are the absolute basics which should get you through who and what.
Lorelai is the mother, she had Rory when she was 16. Lorelai's parents are wealthy. They are normally called Grandma and Grandpa, but they are Richard and Emily (you can also refer to them as the puppet-masters for extra points). Rory's dad is Christopher. Lorelai's best friend is Sookie and Rory's best friend is Lane.
Lorelai and Rory live in Stars Hollow (it isn't a real place) in Connecticut. They eat almost every meal at Luke's Diner. It is a small town and everyone wants Luke and Lorelai to get together. They eventually do (but more on that in a second). Lorelai works at Independence Inn until it burns down, then her and Sookie start their own in, the Dragon Fly. Rory is accepted to a fancy private school - Chilton in the first episode. She goes there until she starts at Yale. She was supposed to go to Harvard, but that is a long story.
Lorelai has a few boyfriends throughout the show: Max (who is Rory's teacher), then there is Alex (and you don't need to know anything about him, just use him as a place holder), Digger (his name is Jason and he works with Lorelai's dad, but you will get points for saying Digger), then Luke (of diner fame), and finally Christopher (Rory's dad) who she occasionally spends a night or two with throughout the story line.
Rory starts by dating Dean (the new kid), then dumps him for Jess (the bad boy and Luke's nephew) who bails on her. After a dry-spell, she ends up in bed with Dean (who is married at this point) and then moves on to (the bad boy, rich kid) Logan. It's with Logan that she steals the yacht and drops out of Yale for. Paris is the annoying perfectionist Rory can't seem to shake.
Lorelai likes snow, pie, and coffee. Rory just likes anything academic along with her coffee.
Get Her Gilmore Girls Gifts
Really, you can still find them. And they will get you so much credit with your girlfriend that you will be able to ask for almost anything in return. Have a look here at great merchandise for Gilmore Girls Gifts. All the guess-work has been taken out of it (seriously); all you have to do is click and pay.
And on a side note, if you ever seriously need your girlfriend's attention while she is in the middle of a Gilmore Girls episode (or marathon), just say, "Copper Boom". She will get it, even if you don't (and you probably don't want to get it anyhow).