Hotdogs: The Perfect Business for Most Artists & Why
By: J. Marlando
There are exceptions to what I am about to say for sure but, by and large, artistic people are lousy at business; they are lousy at the everyday tasks of simply making it through life as every other more “normal” persons seem to do at ease. You have to understand, however, that painters want most to be at their canvases, dancers want to at least be at practice, actors are driven to be on stage or at least preparing for auditions; writers find life miserable when they are not writing or able to write when the compulsion strikes them. All those folks and others of the same mold find working ordinary jobs extremely difficult—not because they can’t do them but because they take them away from their art. (Just remember all starving artists have always been anxious volunteers).
Most artists must do something—outside their art—to make a living at least of some kind. The challenge is that they need to meet this irritating challenge…creatively. They need to be in position to lock up and close down at will to make auditions, go to dance class and paint their masterpieces when the inspiration strikes. The hotdog stand offers all these benefits and the other good news is that the artist will never starve that runs one.
Hotdog stands are mobile. Most artists owe other people money that they are always going to payback as soon as they make their hit. Sometimes, loaners actually want their money back so again the hotdog stand helps to avoid confrontation. One day you are here and the next day there.
It’s better if you don’t move around too much of course—repeating customers are the ones who support you most! Perhaps if you’re an actor—nearly all artistic people are—you could wear disguises when necessary? Here are two excellent ideas:
And speaking of loans: The hotdog stand is one of the last businesses that you can actually go into without spending a fortune. Just a few grand gets you in business! You probably don’t want to waste your time working or saving and since your credit is probably way too far gone to get a legitimate loan go to family and friends.
If you’ve been a true artist for most of your life you are absolutely expert in making your greed look like gratitude, your suffering as sacrifice and your pomposity as humbleness. There are just a very few artists and performers who are not expert in doing a great song and dance when it comes to making excuses for their struggles and failures in life. I don’t have an actual statistic but around 99.9 people in the creative fields should have…well at least sold hotdogs in their lives, you know what I mean!
The other great thing about hotdog stands is that you don’t have to give them much concentration. You are no doubt mechanically inclined enough to get a hotdog bun open, put a hotdog in it, dab it in mustard add a little relish and hand it to a customer in exchange for a buck. (Oh, I forgot to mention, you have to cook the hotdog. I only bring this up because artistic people tend to forget details that they’re not interested in. And so—remember to cook the wiener before you actually serve it to anyone.
Completed Hotdog should resemble one below
Oh, there’s something else: Artistic people tend to be…well, artistic and creative. So please, if you open up a hotdog stand, don’t try and reinvent the wheel. Most of your customers will prefer a good, old fashion hotdog, not one smothered in yogurt or peanut butter. Save your talents for the stage or canvas. The hotdog business, after all, is pretty straight forward.
That’s about all there is to it so if you’re the artistic type give it some thought. You can Google in where to buy the best hotdog stands available so what are you waiting for?
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