Household Cat Plays Socrates Defining "cat Carrier"

Once, there was a particularly amiable house cat that had made friends with yard cat. They had daily exchanges on the nature of their reality and how they came to know it. The yard cat had never been inside a house, so the yard cat, being curious, asked the most questions: "What was it like when you first came to live in a house peopled by humans? That must have been some weird reality."

"I have to admit," said the housecat, "that my initial captivity was just that...a captivitiy. Out of the blue, I was being stuffed into what the people called a pet crate. Soon the humans took me inside another big crate, what they called the kitchen of their house. They zipped open the top part of my crate and I bounded out. All the time they were cooing and doing fake caterwauls, I was busy exploring their so called kitchen. "

"That must have been like a rebirth," said the outside cat. "You were being introduced to a new reality. Sort of like the humans are godlike creatures?'

"Not at all. Certainly not initially, though some of them later gained some intelligence. You see, I thought that after this rude episode I would be free of cat carriers, lo and behold, here we go again.Not just a month out of this blasted confinement, I am being forced back into it. One of the humans said I had to go back to another human called a vet. But I want to tell you, I gave the humans a run for their money this time. You see, before, I was curious to get out of the confining box, but this time I had no such desires. So when they tried to insert me into the cat carrier, I rebelled. I dug my claws into the side mesh of the box and when they tried to pull me loose, I gave them a good warning scratch. But they did not my communication and instead, tried pushing me into the box. I gave a good bite and heard a howl. Then here comes another human holding a big fluffy thing they called a towel. In stages they covered me and ripped me loose from the inside of the carrier. But I took my due in flesh.

At the vet place, this human in all white poked me all over and even touched me inappropriately, inserting objects inside my tush, and If I had been a human I would have filed a lawsuit for being so invaded.'

"So did you go back to the big house later?"

"Yes, and they gave me what they called cat treats, which was basically just food, but it was so tasty I did not argue the distinction. To tell the truth, I was happy to be out of the clutches of the vet and back into the big house. When they unzipped my carrier, I leapt out and began exploring my new domain rebirth. One annoying thing, however, Everyone wanted to pick me up and hold me like I was an infant. Had they never seen a cat before?"

"As time went by, did their behavior change?

"You bet! They quit trying to force me to do their will and left me to come up with creative ways of doing what they wanted."

"How does this change the definition of the cat carrier?" asked the outside cat.

"They left the carrier open, so that it became my plaything. I could go in and out of it at will and I didn't have humans trying to stuff me inside of it. Moreover, I discovered that I could decorate it the way I wanted: I confiscated socks, pens and pencils and even a watch or two...over which the humans became quite vexed. But they actually learned something in the process; they learned to put their valuable in a safe place, to lock them up. And so they would leave out things that we could convert into toys or comfort the small blanket that we placed on the floor of our carriage as a rug. We also were equipped with a stationary bowl for food and one for water. This avoided a mess on a lengthy trip. And if they trip was out of town or, heaven forbid, out of state, the humans would give us a big treat and it was nothing more than a mixture of a sedative masked in our favorite cat food. We went along with the game because it was the easy thing to do and because the sedative was so pleasurable we would sleep two to three times as long as usual."

"But what about your freedom? Don't you want to get out?

"Actually, no. We often could run out, but what is out there? Food that may be poison, dogs, and other cats...hostile ones. No toys to play with or hide from our humans. No tricks and games to play, and what we at first did not realize is, there were no vets to take care of us when we got sick. So, you see, we gradually learned the pros and cons of living as inside and outside cats and we vastly prefer being inside cats."

"Do you think I could become an inside cat? If so, how would I go about it?"

"Well, you have to get a human to adopt you. I was given my current humans by another human, but I have observed that a street cat can easily get adopted into a good home, just by following a few simple rules. First, pick out the home you want to be in. Avoid those with cantankerous dogs. Then just watch when your targeted human leaves his home and go and lie down in front of him. Wallow on your back and purr. If the human continues to walk away bite his trousers and hold on for dear life. If he gets in a car, sit on top of the car, reach down and grab his sweater. Wherever he goes, you go. If he goes out on his porch to sun himself, you lie by his side and sun yourself. And believe me, after this treatment, It won't be long before you will be taking a trip to the vet in your very own cat carrier, or as some snooty folks call it, pet crate."

"Thank you Socrates!"

Note: You may run into multiple meanings of the cat carrier. For example, you may bring up the designation, pet crate. You may also find another field of meaning in pest control devices, including nets and sound devices to keep annnoying pigeons away. So, be aware of multiple meanings.