I have never been a wife, nor do I ever intend to be one. In fact, as a recent newlywed, I barely have three months of even being a husband under my belt. Even though I know "perfection" probably isn't the ideal word to use in the title of this article, from a man's perspective, this article is meant to serve as a complement to the "How-to Be the Perfect Husband" Info Barrel article that my wife will be writing. Just as this is important to us, as married couples, so also do we hope that these articles can give the opposite sex an idea of how we would define and classify all the attributes that a 'perfect' husband or wife should have.
Things You Will Need
Notice his imperfections, and make light of his accomplishments. Not all men will be perfect, in fact, many, especially nowadays, can come into a marriage with all sorts of issues and baggages. If you are married already, the assumption is that you should have had ample and adequate time to get to know your partner on a personal level, way beyond the physical aspects of your relationship. During your time of dating, it is important that you ask the right questions, and, if you are serious about having a longterm relationship, it is important that you identify those imperfections early on.
Marriage is a beginning, but, at the same time, a wise couple must realize that both husband and wife bring different pasts and histories into a marriage. Perhaps your husband had a few run-ins with the law, or is suffering from depression as a result of not amounting to what he had hoped he would become. Regardless of the situation, it is important that the 'perfect' wife be understanding and willing to work through difficult times.
Not only should the 'perfect wife' make light of your husband's accomplishments, but, she should also sincerely believe in him and his abilities. Like dogs, men need to be trained some times. It may be a bit time consuming for you, but, depending on where your husband is coming from in life, you may actually need to 'train' him in duties around the house. From cleaning
the bathroom, to washing dishes immediately following a meal, some men might not be quite as domesticated, or they may not have had the close motherly relationship required to learn these necessary tasks.
While you believe in your husband, it also doesn't hurt to take him under your wing and train him to do the tasks that would make your life easier.
Acceptance can be a two-way street. As much as we men would like to always feel accepted by our wives, the perfect wife shouldn't necessarily accept bad behavior or behavior that is detrimental to their marriage. While it may be difficult for a man to break away from the strip club and frat house party mentality that governed his mind during his college years, it may be unreasonable for a man to just expect his wife to accept those behaviors.
With regards to a man's flaws, the perfect wife must tred cautiously. Assuming that you married your husband because you had complete confidence in his love for you, trust and honesty should reign supreme. With those core values, being forward about pet-peeves can actually help a relationship grow. For something as simple as a piece of food on our teeth, or a loose string hanging from our shirt, men do value the fact that a woman can be open and honest about those things immediately, rather that suffer the subtle humiliation of spending an entire evening with 'the guys' without ever noticing.
Afford him time to hang out with 'the guys'. While you keep a tight reign on your husband, the perfect wife will also know when it's appropriate to cut him a little slack. Men do derive meaning from cutting loose for a bit, doing their own thing, and hanging out with their friends, separate from you. This does not mean that they want their friends to replace you, by any means. Many successful marriages can testify to the importance of taking time out for yourself and for your needs. A perfect wife will understand this, and as long as there no reason not to, will trust her husband.
Value communication. While, oftentimes, it is the man that struggles with the communication aspect of a relationship, this could go both ways, as well. Ultimately, there needs to be give and take in a relationship, and, communication, both ways, should be gentle and slow to anger. Love should resonate through the tone of your communication, and, at the same time, your husband should do what he can to be accepting of you and any issues or concerns that you may feel the need to address. Assuming a marriage was founded on love, communication patterns and requirements should have been established long before the wedding bells chimed, and the bubbles blew outside.
In your communication, while you are gentle, it is also important to balance that out with being direct and to the point. Men can oftentimes be primitive to the point of getting lost in too much confusing detail. Even though you may want to overanalyze every aspect of an event or behavior, sometimes it only takes a sentence or two to achieve the same results.
A marriage founded on love should have had already met quite a few pre-established criteria for what you are looking for in a partner of the opposite sex. To some degree, a good foundation for communication and understanding should have been established already. It is important for a 'perfect' wife to build off of that foundation, train a husband, and be understand every step of the way. Flaws and shortcomings may become more noticeable while you are married, however, it is important to notice these things, and work on addressing them together, as a team.
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