How My Cats, Tiger and Zeke Abandoned Martial Arts Self Defense and Became Lovers

Zeke saw her first. She was, he said, gliding across the courtyard, the moonlight surrounding her. She, he said, was the most beautiful lady cat to ever cross his path. Looking upon her, he felt uplifted, radiant, and youthful. And at that moment he made a vow never to use his martial arts self defense skills for frivolous purposes, but only to defend her person and her honor. She did not know him from Adam, so he would love her in secret. If only he could express his love to her, he would gladly give up do her bidding. Her name was Roxanne and even her name had a magical quality to it. He no longer needed martial arts sparring; he had found love.

Zeke's closest friend was a poet named Tiger. So Zeke came to Tiger and asked for a favor. Help him to write a secret love letter to Roxane. His identity would be shielded and Roxane would think that Zeke wrote the letter. You see every time Zeke had approached Roxanne, he became tongue tied. He needed someone who would speak for him. He knew that his companion, Tiger, was adept with words, so that is why he pleaded with his friend to help him.

Martial Arts Self Defense and a Conflict of Interest.

Tiger promised to pen the first for his friend.. Only he did not know who the recipient of the letter was to be. His first letter went something like this.

You are more radiant than the sun and pure as while alabaster, Your carriage is grace itself and the moon envies you the night.

With thoughts like this, he no longer needed to don martial arts clothing.

Roxanne thrills to the poets choice of words and his expression of passion She lets it be known to all that she has a lover. Only she does not know who it is.

Gradually, Zeke reveals to her that he wrote the letters to her. And now they exchange vows of love. However, Zeke still gets tongue tied when he tries to express his love directly to her. His expression is all wrong and he must keep up appearances. Will his friend help him? Of course, only there is a complication that has developed.

It turns out that Tiger, once finding out who his letters are being sent to, is shocked. He happens to have been secretly in love with Roxanne for years, but has been ashamed to tell her because he carries a deformity...and excessively long nose! So for years, he pretends only to be friends with Roxanne, whereas he harbors deep love for her. He too would vow to give up his martial arts self defense used in a frivolous way if only she would love him in return. You see, for years if anyone said the least bit about his nose, Tiger would challenge them to a duel and always he would win. This he knew was a frivolous use of his skills and this is what he would give up. He would use his martial arts self defense only to defend Roxanne against anyone who would threaten or harm her.

Martial Arts Self Defense Skills in Service of a Lady

They both had their chances. When Tiger overheard some drunken tavern dweller brag about what he would do with Roxanne if he were alone with her, Tiger challenged him on the spot and ran him through in just a fraction of a second. And when the same thing happened in the presence of Zeke, Zeke stabbed the man in his heart and the whole tavern claimed that the man attacked Zeke first. It was becoming apparent to those who thought, that both Zeke and Tiger had a special calling for Roxanne. This all went on for some time. And all this time, Zeke could not bear to give up writing the letters to Roxanne. He knew that the letters gave Roxanne great pleasure and he knew that she was falling deeper and deeper in love with the person who wrote the letters. Yet, he could not bring himself to present himself to her. He in his opinion was too ugly for her to love. She would surely reject him for he was nothing like his letters in a physical sense. But now another complication developed. She requested that Tiger come to see her. So, Tiger and Zeke developed a plan. Tiger would stand out in the open beneath her balcony and Zeke would hide behind a bushy tree. Zeke would say the lines, but Tiger would pretend to say the lines. The love speech went like this:

You are the moon and the tide. Your name is like a bell in my heart and it swells to full volume when I am near you. I think of you as the stars and the heaves beyond. You are my radiant angel. I love you.

She responded: Oh my lover. You open my soul to you. I am yours. Your words move me beyond all the limits of my thought and powers of speech. I love you. Come and take me.

When Zeke heard this response from Roxanne, he became so agitated that he coughed, then sneezed. Roxanne looked puzzled but she still invited her lover to come to her and Tiger was only too willing to comply. He climbed up to her balcony and approached her. She then asked him to speak some words of eloquence to her and Tiger became so confused he mixed up all the words in the wrong order and used inappropriate words and crude blunt words and Roxanne was dumbfounded. What had happened to him...? Tiger became so embarrassed that he scampered down from the balcony and departed with Zeke.

Later, Roxanne meets with Zeke in her garden and she shares some of the letters written to her. She requests that he read the letters aloud to her. When he does, that same melodious voice she heard under her balcony comes back to her. And, as he reads, Roxanne notices that he does not even have to look at the pages. He is reciting from memory. She knows who his is now..that he is her love and she runs to him, embracing him and professing her love for him.

Postscript: In your search for applications of cat martial arts, please be aware that there are many variations pointing to the same theme: kyoksushin karate, karate suit, northern karate, karate shoes and pads, martial arts self defense, martial arts insurance etc. All of these ends are based on the premise of a core of maartial arts principles: the use of the chi.