How My Cats Became Martial Artists Viewing Mixed Martial Arts Videos
My cats view TV shows all the time. They are watching Misxed Martial Arts Videos.They see a lot of Kung Fu and have begun to imitate some of the karate experts, the difference being that my cats are better martial artists than the ones on TV. Raven, my black cat, can leap into the air and does a 360 degree turn before landing. This is very much like a Karate form taken from Shodokan karate, taught by Nakayama, Nishayama and Mikami. For human beings it takes years to master this form, but my cats have mastered it before they reached pre-adolescence. Some say that their knowledge of kung fu is innate, that they are born to be martial artists.
Recently, they have taken to watching Kung Fu shows and then practicing what they have learned after the TV show has ended. They practice round kicking, snap kicking, thrust kicking, and all techniques they have seen on TV. They both note that they have weapons that the human being lacks. Namely, claws. They can not only swat their opponent; they can leave some indelible scars. And they can back-kick perfectly. Again, it takes most humans years to master the back kick. And this is so no matter how many Kung Fu shows they watch. Even if they watch mixed martial arts videos from morning to night, they do not substantially improve. Yet Raven and Giddy (my Tabby Cat) knew that the human beings (their humans) wanted to be as agile, as graceful, as powerful in leaping as they were and they sometimes regretted not being born a cat. So the cats gave themselves the rank of black belts because the humans lacked the grace to bestow the honor upon them.
Inside Cats Abandon Mixed Martial Arts Videos
Giddy and Raven were inside cats, but they longed to test their metal, to go into the wilderness beyond the glass doors and the garden just beyond the door. And one day they got their wish. One of the clumsy humans had left the back door open, so they went into the garden and felt their freedom. This would be a great adventure, greater surely than the shows they had been watching on mixed martial arts videos. They went forth into the world. No more human to boss them around. They crossed the garden and saw a couple of speckled cats coming toward them. The expression on the new cat's faces was nothing short of evil. So Giddy and Raven leapt on top of an garbage can and then on top of an awning and then on a roof. They traversed the roof and kept an eye on the rival cats. They purposely ran through puddles where the water had collected in gullies. This is so they would leave no trail. When all was clear, they jumped into a magnolia tree near the side of the house and scampered down.
No sooner had Giddy and Raven begun to explore their new found freedom than they were confronted by another predator...a dog. The dog ran toward them, eyes blazing and tongue hanging out. As the dog got nearer, Giddy jumped on his back and sunk in her claws while Raven executed a lighting jab to the nose with claws extended. The dog yelped and ran away.
A human came out the house and called out Come Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. Come out. Not knowing the human's intention they ran under the house. Then they saw they were surrounded by big black spiders and sticks that looked like snakes The house looked more dangerous than the human so they came out of the underbelly of the house and approached the human being. The human looked annoyed that we were walking by and he picked up a rock and threw it at us. We thought this was strange because our human at home seemed to get pleasure out of petting and feeding us.
Mixed Martial Arts Videos Were Never Like This.
This outside exploration was becoming problematic. At every turn there seemed to be danger. They wanted adventure, but not so dangerous, please. They thought everything was settled until it began to rain. The water began to rise and soon the whole area was flooded. To the tree again. They scampered up the familiar tree and sat on the limbs. This whole adventure was turning South. True, they had escaped the wrath of the street cats and overcome the dog, but here they were now and it was dinner time. They were stuck in a tree and the rain had not let up. How long would they have to wait? In a few hours, standing water began to drain off and they descended from the tree. Then they asked themselves. Why couldn't they do something truly heroic, like save a little old lady human from being murdered by a bad human? And just at that moment they looked down the street and saw a robbery taking place before their very eyes: there was a bank robbery going on. Good, they exclaimed. And they ran toward the robbers.. Raven leapt into one robber's face, clawing his eyes. Giddy made a like maneuver on the other man. The men were now partially blinded. Then simultaneously, Giddy and Raven attacked the groin the robbers. They had seen this technique in kung fu films. And now it had come in handy.
The bandits were taken off the jail and Raven and Giddy were asked to be on a news show that evening to describe their heroism. They were national heroes and their tv interview was broadcast qround the world: CATS FOIL ROBBERY blazoned on all TVs...Their human had seen them appear on TV and showed up at the studio. He had their favorite food and catnip and they ate to their hearts content. They were so successful on the show that the producers asked their human if they could come back and appear on other shows. Giddy and Raven were only toot happy to oblige as long as they could have parts in the mixed martial arts Videos.