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How To Be A Good Mother

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 3 9

How To Be A Good Mother

Ever asked yourself this question, what is a good mother? Don't worry you are not by yourself. I've wrote this article to try and put your mind at rest and help you make some simple yet effective changes to help you on your way to becoming a good mother. The views and opinions in this article 'how to be a good mother' are my own and I fully understand that there will be people that agree and disagree with my views. If you don't do some of the things in my list then it doesn't make you a bad mother. As I mention within this article there is always room for improvement, is there really such thing as a perfect mother? If you like reading this article I have a simillar one for fathers called how to be a good father.

Make Time For Yourself

Make sure that you put a reasonable amount of time aside each week to do the things you enjoy. This can be difficult sometimes and everybody's situation and commitments differ. Even if all you can manage is a couple of hours a week, it will benefit you and more importantly the whole family. If you are stressed due to lack of 'me' time then they'll be stressed too. Give yourself a break now and then and you'll be on your way to becoming a good mother.

Don't Make Too Many Sacrifices In Order To Be A Good Mother

 When you have children there are bound to be some changes to your own social life, but there is no need to sacrifice everything you enjoy in life. Children can become far too dependant on you if you decide to give up everything for them. They will be of the understanding that if they want or need anything, that you will give up anything you can in order to give it them. You must find a balance, it is so easy to always put your children first, however in the long term this will do neither you or your children any good.

Don't feel guilty if you feel the need to get away from the children for the evening, hand them over to dad and arrange an evening or night out with friends. Some adult company without the presence of your children will do you good and help you on the way to being a good mother.

Avoid Trying To Be The Perfect Mother

Being perfect at anything in life is almost impossible as there is always room for improvement. Being the perfect mother is quite often what new mothers tend to aim for, but believe me when I tell you that there is no such thing. Striving for perfection will leave you criticising yourself for everything that you do and that just isn't healthy. Being a mother brings many challenges and tests even the strongest of people. To try and be the perfect mother would possibly have the opposite result and you could end up being the worst mother. To be a good mother you don't have to turn your life upside down, just make the small changes necessary and bear in mind that sometimes changes will happen that are not in your control.

Do Not Feel Guilty

Sometimes you will have to make decisions that will make you feel guilty. Bear in mind that you will often have to make decisions that may seem to be more for your benefit than your children. Deciding to go back to work full time is a prime example but many families need two decent wages coming in to support having a family. When children come along they are expensive and the last thing that many families need is to lose a wage or have it massively reduced by reducing hours. It may seem like you are depriving your children by leaving them with a family member or in childcare but in order to be a good mother it may be that you need the extra money.

Have Patience

However difficult this may sound you must try to remain calm and patient no matter how tricky things get. Being a good mother requires patience and bucket loads of it at times. Children are very demanding and at times they will wear you down, often to breaking point. Should you feel yourself reaching breaking point then remain calm and take time-out. Dont be afraid or ashamed to ask for help from family members or friends, if they have children of their own then they'll fully understand where you are coming from and will be happy to help.

Be A Good Listener

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Sometimes solving life's little problems does not have to be difficult, one of the qualities of being a good mother is to be a good listener. Children need to be heard, there is an old saying that goes "Children should be seen and not heard" this is so old fashioned. Listen to your children let them air their views, only then if you feel it's necessary give them your advice.

Dont Be Too Strict With Them

Every parent wants their children to be succesful in life. It's so easy to fall into the trap of pushing your children to do well at school. You can be more subtle in your approach and teach them the ways of succeeding in life without being the stereotypical strict parents. Let them know that a good education is essential if they are to get a good career when they are older but don't push it, they could end up rebelling.

Make Being A Mother Fun

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Being a mother is a great opportunity to be a child again. Right from your child being a very young age you get to do the things that you won't have done since you were a child yourself. You get to play with toys again, do 'kid' things like colouring in, and generally just letting your immature streak rise to the surface. There is no harm in this so long as you can take control again and decide when play-time is over. Having children will allow you to see the world from a child's point of view again. Being a good mother can be very rewarding. 

Peoples views on the subject 'what is a good mother' can vary dramatically. Essentially you decide how to be a good mother, people can only offer advice and it's up to you if you take it. I really hope that you have enjoyed reading this article and I hope that you will consider putting some of these tips into good use.

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Comments

Jan 17, 2012 7:36pm
casdrubo
Nice work, great structure MrKnowItAll
Jan 18, 2012 2:11am
Tina3
Hey nice article Mr K-I-A
Did you interview mums for this piece or are you a dad yourself? It's very important for parents to not compete with each other. I know mums who have to throw a bigger and better birthday party than the other kid and other mums who seem to have 50 hours in their days as they achieve so much it's sickening. We drive ourselves crazy if we try to compete and it's just not healthy. Our kids definitely don't benefit from it either.
Good read, well done.
Jan 18, 2012 5:14am
MrKnowItAll54321
Hi Tina, I did ask a few mother's for advice when I was writing this article, Thanks for your input. You made some good comments that I think I will add in to the article somehow, are you ok with this?
Jan 18, 2012 5:49am
Tina3
No, I charge 100 euros for my advice. Just kidding! Of course, use it if it helps. No probs.
Feb 18, 2012 4:29pm
Aleo
Great article, with a lot of very good points. Congratulations on the feature!
Feb 21, 2012 12:37pm
Ddraig
I was ready to roast you over the coals when I saw the title. I was thinking " Don't be telling me how to be a good Mother!"..then I started reading and I was very impressed.
I will say now that this house is full of stress, I don't have an option for "me" time, likewise I don't have the option of not making too many sacrifices, I have to, budget and time are too tight to do anything else at the moment.
Guilt, mwaha, with 4 children and a job I constantly berate myself for not giving the kids all the time they deserve.
Nothing but time can change these issues as my children are all young. I do feel like a rubbish mum against the " Stepford Mothers" but yet again I am teaching my children real life values like " work your butt of to get somewhere", "don't be lazy", "learn to do things yourself". Some Stepford Mothers end up with less than desired children.
Feb 23, 2012 5:30am
SusannaK
Great article, it is important not to do everything for your children, it's how they learn independence
Feb 25, 2012 4:21am
MrKnowItAll54321
Thanks for the positive comments everyone, glad you enjoyed my article on how to be a good mother.
Jul 13, 2013 1:41am
Januarius
You have cited good ideas that contribute in making a good mother,Allow me however, to add an extra idea.In you absence and that of the father,ensure that the children are self-reliant and responsible.
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