How To Be a Bad Boss
Everyone who has ever undertaken the job of being the boss knows that it can be a difficult and thankless job. You want to earn your employees respect and admiration, yet you still must be tough and get the job done. The truth is, many people just don’t have what it takes to be an effective, inspiring boss. If you find that you can’t handle the job or just don’t like your employees, here are some tips on how to be a terrible boss.
-Sit at your desk all day and play computer games. Occasionally get up and yell at your employees that they aren’t working hard enough and you’re tired of having to carry the load all by yourself. Then, after checking your text messages on your phone, go back to the games. That will reinforce to everyone that you are in charge.
-Only promote people who make you look good. What if there is someone is in the department who could do your job just as good as you can? Do everything in your power to make sure that management doesn’t notice them. Assign them the worst jobs where they’ll get the least recognition. In the meantime, give the good jobs to the people who can barely do the job. That way you’ll look good by comparison.
-When your subordinates complete a big project, present it to your boss by yourself. Make sure and take full credit for the project and downplay anyone else’s role. After all, you told them to do the work so you should get the credit.
-Your child is just as important as you are, so it is not unreasonable to ask an employee to do the research for your sons school assignment. Let them know their employee review will suffer if Jr. gets anything less than an A.
-If you hear your employees laughing or having a good time, put a stop to it immediately. They are there to work, not socialize.
-Place cameras around the office so you can watch your employees every move from your desk. That should encourage a more productive work environment. If you see someone slacking off, announce it for all to hear over a PA system.
-Nothing makes an impression like public humiliation. If someone makes a mistake, real or imagined, berate them loudly for everyone else to hear. If you are able to make them cry, make fun of them in front of everyone else. They’ll respect you for it.
-Send out a memo reminding the employees when bosses day is coming up. Include a list of gifts you’d like to receive to make it easy for them. In a footnote, mention that employee evaluations are coming up…..
Of course, it might be easier to do your job well and earn your employees respect. You want to be an influential, memorable boss, but not for the reasons listed here!