Your loved ones want first and foremost to be loved (not judged). If your first instinct is to criticize your loved ones, it's important to take a look at why this might be the case. Read on to learn more.
Things You Will Need
A desire to be less critical and judgmental of those you love.
Step 1If, following your examination of your own behavior and what may be causing it, you have determined that you were criticized excessively as a child (or perhaps even now), know that this may be dictating why you yourself have become a big criticizer of your own loved ones.
Step 2Believe it or not, sometimes people think they are demonstrating their love when they criticize their loved ones. They think that they are trying to help their loved ones, but most of us do not respond terribly well to negative reinforcement in the form of excessive criticism. (Just think about how you feel when someone criticizes something that you do. It makes you want to do the opposite of what the person is recommending, doesn't it? Well, that's how loved ones feel when they are on the receiving end of your criticism.)
Step 3Start practicing positive reinforcement techniques instead. When someone you love does something that you really, really like, make a big deal of this wonderful thing that they have done. When you positively reinforce a good behavior, you are encouraging the person you love to behave that way more and more.
Let's face it, no one likes being criticized even a little, so why would any of us want to be criticized to excess? It doesn't work as a behavior modification technique and it makes both the person doing the criticizing and the person on the receiving end of the excessive criticism feel terrible, making it a "lose-lose" proposition. This is why positive reinforcement and positive feedback in general work so much better than being excessively critical.
Tips & Warnings
Remember to go easy on yourself most of all. Don't be excessively critical of yourself when you are working on your self improvement project to become less critical of others and in general. If you have been in the habit of being somewhat critical, in other words, it may take you a bit of time to change that attitude and behavior. But that's okay. No worries. There is no set time frame for something like this, and you are doing just fine. If you'd like to read additional articles on similar topics, check out this one, and perhaps this one as well.