Are you still in the closet these days with your feelings? It's no longer a time where the majority of people
you can surround yourself with would not accept you. There is a whole world of acceptance out there and all you have to do is come out and find it. If you are wondering if your feelings are wrong, THEY ARE NOT. One hundred percent, with every word in this sentence. Everyone who tells you that your feelings are wrong has no idea what they are talking about. Only you can know how you feel, not them. You have the power to be yourself and change the world around you! You specifically knew, before you were born, that you would come into this world to be yourself and show the world the power of love. You are an example of love at it's finest! When everyone else tells you, you are not able you love, you very well know, you are able to love.
Things You Will Need
- A sense of yourself
and understanding of your love
- One friend you trust
will be accepting (It's good to have a friend in person, but if that doesn't seem possible in your situation, the internet
is a good place to find people)
If you are reading this, then you probably have some doubts about what you are about to do. That is perfectly normal. Because you are normal and so are your feelings. Everyone else is abnormal in their response. And it's their own problem, not yours. Get a sense of why you feel the way you do. How do you feel when you think about the same sex. Take a moment and feel the different between thinking about the opposite and same sex. It's a clear difference and you know it. When you do this, you will know so much more that your sexuality is right in all the ways it can be.
Think back to the earliest memories you can remember. Especially during the onset of puberty. When your earliest awareness of your attraction is building up. Did you feel fearful or happy with the way you felt about the same sex. It may have made you happy, but because of caring what others thought about being gay, you may have feared revealing your secret for so many years. That type of fear is the type that builds up and eats you up inside. Especially when you have strong feelings that you feel are being suppressed.
You have to know that you are right in the way you think about the same sex. If you need more encouragement, read some books, or watch some gay themed movies
to look at some other stories. If you know another gay person, ask them what their experience is. There are also a lot of coming out stories online. You are not alone, no matter how alone you feel right now.
This person will be the first person you come out to. Make sure it's someone you know has a progressive, liberal mind. Your best friend may be more accepting than you think. Chances are if you haven't been with the opposite sex, and have qualities that some gay guys might have, you best friend may already suspect it and is just waiting for you to come out. I know many cases like this and you just can;t be scared anymore.
Now if you don't think you have any of the "gay qualities" and your best friend isn't the best person to tell, and you know it, and there is no one in your circle of friends that would understand, the Internet has plenty of places you can find people. Just come out to one person. It feels so-I can't even explain- relieving (for lack of better word) to finally say those words that have been in your head for your entire life for the first time. To let those real thoughts outs. Ones that are not fabricated to suit the needs of whoever you are talking to. Thoughts that are real to you, and you know it will all you heart. You're coming out!
Once you finally have that one person that you trust enough to tell your biggest secret of life to, then it gets easier to tell another, then another. If you still need to make the jump to meeting someone in person who you can come out to, look for some local groups. You will find someone to come out to. In fact I believe in every situation, there is also that one person you know you can tell, you're just scared. Just do it!
This step is NO WAY meant to be frightening. But exciting. The truth is, the coming out process never stops. After the one person, it will be another, then another, then another, then more, then eventually your parents (if they weren't the first to know but that may not be the case for many), then work place, your school, your community center, your gym, your extended family. Each new person you build up fear to coming out to is a new step in your journey of your life experience. It's constant eye opening to what love means to so many people, all the time, constantly. And it does get easier and easier. In fact, it gets more and more fun. And you will find more and more awesome people as you do!
Coming out is a scary process, but it becomes a growing moment each time you do it. So many guys in the closet do not realize the power they have in coming out to change the world because they are scared of what people think of them. That's all it really is. And once you establish the fact that you know how you feel, and how right it is, you can say I don't care what people think about my sexual orientation, they don't care about my eye color. They are just being picky purple people eaters.
Tips & Warnings
If you truly do not feel safe coming out. There is still hope! You have to believe that you will be happy soon because more and more people are coming out everyday with their feelings you will find someone! The right time will come for whatever you want to do, and you will know when that time comes.