How to find a great friend? Are you looking for a true friend, a buddy, a life long friend, or a soul mate? I'm not talking about the type of friend like a lover, but a true friend you can depend on or just be yourself around. In this fast-paced world that we live in today, it's very hard to find a great, true friend. People seem to not have true friendship like they used to. People are just too busy, they have crazy work schedules, some people wrap cocoons around themselves, so they won't get hurt, or they live in their own independent world letting no one get close to them. All the steps below will help you to develop and gain a good friendship.
Things You Will NeedA positive attitude and feel good about yourself
The old clichÃÂ©, "in order to have a friend you must be a friend," is in many ways true. You're not going to gain a friendship by being mean to somebody, ignoring them or not acknowledging that they are even there. You need to select the person that somewhat fits your personality. It also helps to know what you're looking for in a friend. For example, I would not want a friend that constantly is putting you down. So that's why it's important to find characteristics in the person that you can relate to.
If you see a person that you feel that you can personally connect to, or have a lot in common with go up to that person and say, "hi." So what if they look at you as if you are an alien from another planet. If they did look at you as if your were an alien from another planet, maybe this isn't the person you should develop a friendship with. You'll be able to tell it the person is trying to meet you halfway. You have to work at developing a friendship. It just doesn't happen overnight. Think of it as banking - you invest some money to make more money. The more that you put in the friendship, the more it will develop and the more you'll get out of it. While you are talking to your new "possible" friend, if something doesn't feel right, maybe you need to find somebody else, but don't let your self conscious small voice do the controlling of this but use your common sense.
Now that you found somebody you think that you want to develop
a friendship with, you need to start to do things together. Maybe go to the library (meet in a common
place), talk about swapping recipes, going out to get a drink, etc. It's kind
of like dating. We all know how awkward that can be.
Remember the more that you put into the relationship the
more it should grow. Friendships just
doesn't develop by accident it takes effort on both parts, so you have to draw
a person out of their own little individual world. People are scared to get
into a friendship, they are afraid of getting hurt, being let down, feeling
awkward around other people, or whatever the case may be. Remember the scared feeling you're feeling, they are probably feeling scared too.
This may be the most important step of all. I probably should have put this as the
first. You must first become a friend
with yourself. If you don't like yourself, people can pick up on this and in turn put up a big wall up. When you don't like yourself, then you have less esteem and feel self-conscious. I know you will be eager to start friendship, but don't be desperate acting towards the person you're trying to build a friendship with. Most
people don't want to be around a "look at me" or "Negative Ned or Nellie." Just be yourself and have fun.
Remember finding a friend is like buying a car. You want it to be reliable, works really well, fits your needs and most of all long-lasting. So remember to get a friend you must be a friend. Expect some of your friendships to fail and somewhat be hurt by them. Knock the dust off your feet and move on in finding a new friend. There are lots of people in this world to make friends with.