How To Get Him Back After A Break Up (20793)

Even if you have cheated, this article will show you how to rebuild trust and therefore how to get him back after a break up. Most people think that when one or the other person cheats, it should be the end of the relationship, but the truth is, that when both people really want to salvage the relationship, it can be saved.

But how do you get him to trust you again once you've cheated? There has to be a definite shift in both actions and attitude not just on your part, but also on the part of your boyfriend. First, you both must realize that it is possible to save the relationship even after an affair has transpired, then each of you must be more willing to trust the other.

Since you're the one that did the cheating, you must acknowledge that there was something basically wrong with the relationship or you wouldn't have strayed. That something was what motivated you to have an affair. Just keep in mind that even though there was something fundamentally wrong, the relationship can still be healed.

Ask yourself, what were you looking for when you sought the attention of another man. Was your ex not paying you enough attention, was the sex boring, or did he just let himself go to pot physically? The fact is you wouldn't have strayed from the relationship if he had been meeting your needs.

So, now that you know that, what needs to be done to mend it? Many times the relationship can be fixed just by looking deep into yourself and discovering what it was that you were missing in the primary relationship, but about 50% of the time the problem lies within the relationship itself.

When an affair has happened, the very core of the relationship has been shaken, so to repair the relationship, you have to be willing to fix the underlying core issues. Many times, this means seeking the help of a professional couples counselor. Couples counselors are trained to get to the bottom of the issues, they do not point fingers at the apparent wrong doer.

Once you understand exactly what the core problems were, then it is time to take concrete action toward fixing the problems. This means not just talking about what would fix them, but also actually taking steps toward fixing them. How is this accomplished? By saying that you will do a certain thing and sticking to what you say.

Let your word be your action. For example, if you say that you will meet him for dinner at 6:30, then be at the restaurant then or even a little before 6:30. The secret to regaining his trust is in keeping your word. When rebuilding trust, talk is cheap; you must actually do what you say you will do if you want to learn how to get him to come back to you.

When you show that you can be trusted to keep you word in the countless everyday small things in life, then your ex will gradually realize that he can trust you again with larger issues and the relationship in total. Basically, when you are attempting to rebuild trust, you have to realize that he needs ongoing reassurance that you are a different person, this means that you will probably have to say you are sorry more than one time, and perhaps several times, and it also means that you will have to ignore the various comments about your being the one who had the affair.

Just know up front, that rebuilding his trust is a vital part of knowing how to get him back after a breakup. It is going to require a great deal of patience on your part.This does not mean that you should go on indefinitely feeling guilty, this would not be helpful in building the healthy new relationship that you both desire, but it does mean that you will have to be a little more understanding.

While these tips on how to get him back will work, they are not tips on how to get him back fast. Rebuilding trust after a major violation like cheating does take time.

In reality, once you both realize that there was something wrong with the core of your relationship, you might even say that it was diseased, and you both are determined to repair the damage, then the relationship can be much stronger than it was before the affair happened.

Working on the relationship together will not only give you both a great opportunity to mature as separate people, but it will also give you a wonderful opportunity to grow stronger as a couple. It is more than possible for most couples to get back together even after cheating has occurred.