At one point or another most people will see a relationship end. It is a very difficult time in your life when your long-term relationship ends especially if you thought it would last forever. We are not here to tell you that you should not feel pain because most of the time after the split you probably will. What you should know is that the world has not come to an end and there are things that you can do to feel better a lot sooner. If you are going through a situation where a relationship has ended here are the things that you should do.
Talk To SomeoneCredit: Westend61
Talking about a relationship that has just ended may seem counterproductive, but it can help you get over a long-term relationship. The person who you talk to should be there to listen and that means that you can let your feelings out with family, friends or even a therapist if you do not want to get your loved ones involved. Therapists are often forgotten about people because they do not want to open up to a stranger, but many times they are the best choice if you do not seem to make progress on your own.
It is always a good idea to surround yourself with people who care about you. It is important that those people are supportive and not negative so that you can feed off their vibes. Positivity will have you feeling better in no time. You want someone who will make you feel better about yourself, not one that will laugh at the situation.
Do Not Over Think It
One of the biggest problems when you are trying to get over a break up is that you can think too much about what just happened. It is natural to think about the break up, but if you are only thinking about that, then you will never stop feeling the way that you do now. Try to entertain yourself with something like a hobby or an activity you may have wanted to try in the past. Even reading a book can help you a lot during this time. The idea is to keep your mind occupied so that you have less time to think about the relationship and the break up.
The problem when you think too much about the relationship is that you are likely to only focus on how great it all was, when in reality some things had to also go wrong. In some cases even if you were the one that broke off the relationship you will start to think that you may have made a mistake and ask for a second chance. Remember the reasons why the relationship was not working out and it will make your transition a lot easier.
Anger Is Normal
There is no way to avoid it; if you are the person who received the news that you were no longer in a relationship then it is very likely that you will feel at least some anger. Sometimes that feeling can really take over, and that is when problems start. It is normal to feel angry after a break up, but to get over a long-term relationship you cannot stay angry. Feelings of anger after a break up are even worse if you are angry with yourself because you are placing all the blame for what happened on you which is probably unfair. Two people are in a relationship and two people are the reason for the relationship ending.
Too many newly single people fail to get over the anger stage which is sometimes very self-destructive. Some will start destroying anything that reminds them of the person because they feel they will get better that way, but in reality you are just prolonging the negative feelings instead of dealing with them.
Do Not Put Them On A Pedestal
Another common mistake is to keep remembering how great the other person was. There is something that you need to remember; the person you were in a relationship with is not a demigod. They were a regular person and they had good things and bad things about them. They were not your soul mate or you would still be together. As much as you loved them and there is no doubt that you did, they are really not all that special. There are 7 billion people in the planet, do you really think that you will not find one that loves you or that you will love as much as that one person?
You probably do not want to hear that, but a reality check when you are trying to learn how to get over a break up is really not a bad idea. The more you look around, the more you will know that there are plenty of available people waiting to love you if you give them a chance. That does not mean that you should jump into another relationship, but rather that you could if you wanted to.
Use Pen And Paper
So the break up happened and nothing can be done about it. You can try to get over that relationship by using pen and paper. Pen and paper are great tools because they allow you to do a lot to feel better. You can write your feelings down, which is almost like talking to someone, except that all your feelings are kept private. That makes it a lot easier to speak honestly than when you talk to someone. Do not avoid writing things down because you do not like the way you feel. If you are feeling down or better, then write it down. It will help you track any progress that you are making.
You can also use pen and paper to have a little mean streak. You should think of every reason the person you just broke up with is not someone you want to waste any more time on. Do not be kind here because this is the time to see that you are better off today than you were before you parted ways. This list is perfect especially if you keep it by the phone. If you even start thinking about calling take a look at the list and remember why it is better that you do not dial.