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How To Get Rid Of The Mother Inlaw

By Edited Jul 11, 2015 10 52

 

Mad Mamma

She shows up at the worst possible time. Takes forever to leave and always has something to say about everything. The Mother in law can drive some, to pull out their hair and scream uncontrollably. If this sounds like you, then this could be the guide for you.

First of all the spouse must be on board. To attempt an M.I.L. removal alone, can cause irreparable damage to a marriage. Definitely not worth the risk, no matter how bad things get. Those of us in these circumstances will just have to take it on the chin.

The best place to start worrying about this calamity is before the M.I.L. arrives. This could give you an opportunity to nip it in the bud. Make sure the spouse knows, that under no circumstances are they to invite the M.I.L. to stay for any reason. This must be definite and no matter what, stick to the guns.

When there is a failure of the system and an M.I.L. does get by the precautions we've taken, by all means stay home. Leaving to get away from it all, could just collect a new family member to feed. Left unattended, something can be cooked up while your gone. We need to stay there with our guard up, ready for anything.

Never let the stay, go into the work week. They will help out too much and give more reason why leaving would be detrimental to the household. If this stage is reached, then there's no alternative, pull out all the stops.

It's time to get messy. Leave your socks on the table and fart a lot. Burp out loud and then exclaim how good it felt. Make sure the toilet seat is always in the wrong position, whatever the case may be. Never do the dishes and wait a few days to take a shower. This is for all the marbles so whatever it takes.

Invite your friends to come over for a ball game on TV, or maybe a poker game, with a lot of swearing and drinking. Play like you forgot they were here and walk in the room naked, twice. In case they figured it was a mistake the first time. If you have a cell phone call from home, to the house phone, because they always answer the telephone for us, and then hangup. (make sure your cell is on silent)

Take them for a ride to the store and run out of gas. Make them walk home. Feed the dog some beans and leave it in the room with them. Get an extra remote and keep changing the channels secretly while there watching TV.

These are all things we can do to deter the future visits, or at least lessen their duration. Getting back some of our own lives is what we're after here. Then of course there is always the possibility that you like your mother in law.......

 

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Comments

Oct 26, 2010 2:35am
Philtrate
Very amusing and scarily true to life
Oct 26, 2010 4:05am
JoSwann
Aww, poor mother's in law - are they really that bad???
Oct 26, 2010 1:49pm
GhostForHire
I put a huge portrait of my mother-in-law above the mantelpiece. Well, it keeps the kids away from the fireplace. You can always tell when my mother-in-law is about to visit, the mice throw themselves on the traps. I said to my mother-in-law: "My house is your house." She said: "Get off my property!"
Oct 26, 2010 1:59pm
dreamaker
A very nice addition to my point and I really feel for you and the mice. LOL Thanks for looking
Jan 30, 2011 5:26am
Venetia
LOL - this is a funny tale with VERY useful tips for the MIL that JUST won't leave!!!! Good Job! LOL
Jan 30, 2011 10:04am
dreamaker
Tks and thanks for the visit too.
Apr 1, 2011 10:57am
footloose
Very funny. I remember how I struggled with my mil - I really screwed up her family by NOT being her religious persuasion, or her ethnic background. We prevailed, and now she is 93! Bygones are bygones. Still, thanks for the humor!
Apr 2, 2011 1:24am
dreamaker
I guess sometimes they can come around and end up being more then we expected. Glad everything worked out for you footloose, thanks for the visit.
Apr 12, 2011 12:36am
southerngirl09
Another good laugh! I was lucky, I had a good MIL. Congratulations on being a Featured Article.
Apr 12, 2011 12:49am
dreamaker
Tks southerngirl. It was fun to write.
Apr 12, 2011 9:03am
Lynsuz
Congratulations on a great feature article.
Apr 12, 2011 10:19am
dreamaker
tks Lynsuz
Apr 12, 2011 4:31pm
Introspective
Congratulations on your featured article! I never had mother-in-law issues, however, I wish I could trade-in my brother-in-law and sister-in-law!
Apr 12, 2011 8:59pm
dreamaker
Just take out M.I.L. and insert B.I.L. thanks for the visit Introspective.
Apr 12, 2011 4:53pm
mcimicata
Amazing Infobarrel! I definitely learned a lot from reading through it, and I really appreciate the new info.
Apr 12, 2011 9:00pm
dreamaker
tks mcimicata.
Apr 12, 2011 6:33pm
Deborah-Diane
I'm a mother-in-law with three son-in-laws, but I still LOVED your article! Of course, I hope my son-in-laws never read it! LOL
Apr 12, 2011 9:00pm
dreamaker
Hi DD. I'm sure you are well loved by your son in laws. Thanks for the visit!
Apr 13, 2011 1:08pm
divaonline
Kudos for a great feature article and image! Thoroughly comical and entertaining!
Apr 13, 2011 2:43pm
dreamaker
Thanks Divaonline, Ive seen that you've been busy as well.
Thanks for the visit.
Apr 13, 2011 4:22pm
dashboardc33
This is funny but scary to think that some day...I will be that mother in law :)
Apr 13, 2011 4:23pm
dreamaker
Very interesting outlook, I never thought of looking at it from that side. I'm sure you couldn't be half as bad as my fictional M.I.L.
Thanks for the visit.
Apr 14, 2011 8:18pm
SilverandGold
Ahhhh, my MIL was very nice, we didn't always see eye to eye, but there were never any harsh words. She's been gone over 10 years and we miss her. Sorry for anyone that had MIL problems.
Apr 14, 2011 8:26pm
dreamaker
Yes hats off to all the great MIL's out there. This article is for the rest of you. Thanks for the visit.
Apr 18, 2011 1:49pm
javrsmith
My mother in law is one of the nicest people that you could ever meet. I know that many MIL are not easy to deal with. Try not to let them bother you. Your attitude has a lot to do with your MIL relationship.
Apr 18, 2011 2:29pm
dreamaker
Good point javrsmith.
thanks for the visit.
Apr 20, 2011 11:08pm
amberrisme
Hilarious and honest. I think my mother-in-law seems more loveable and wonderful than can possibly be real, because she only speaks a little bit of English and I don't speak Lao...
Apr 20, 2011 11:16pm
dreamaker
Glad you liked it, thanks for stopping by!!
Apr 24, 2011 8:15am
Leanman
I have tried and tried, but it does not work, she keeps coming back, and even worse she brings friends! My problem is she lives too close, at least she always goes home at the end of the day......
Apr 24, 2011 10:50am
dreamaker
Sometimes our efforts can be futile. Then you must accept defeat and embrace your destiny. Look forward to the fact that people can change. Good luck and thanks for the visit.
Apr 27, 2011 2:22am
Iykmezu
Am happy mine can't come unannounced. We live very far apart. But these are very nice tricks.
Apr 28, 2011 1:21pm
dreamaker
Ah one of the lucky ones. The whole article for you is a mute point. Lucky bugger. Thanks for the visit.
Jun 19, 2013 4:44pm
Januarius
Read the article ten more tmes, and I hope this will help you to see the humor in it.
Jun 19, 2013 4:45pm
Januarius
Read the article ten more tmes, and I hope this will help you to see the humor in it.
Apr 28, 2011 10:33am
freego
My MIL is a saint and can come visit any day at any time...

Good luck to anybody who needs this advice.

Please send us before and after pics. LOL
Apr 28, 2011 1:22pm
dreamaker
Glad to hear you have one of the good ones. Thanks for the visit.
Apr 29, 2011 12:23am
Antares
HA! Why does anything that has to do with farts make me laugh!?!
May 5, 2011 6:27pm
Venetia
Congratulations on the feature - I loved this article!
May 7, 2011 12:38pm
GregoryMoore
For any of you that have commented about having a great mother-in-law, hat's off to you. You are very lucky. Any of you up for a trade? I'll trade my monster-in-law and 10 head of cattle to the first taker!!!
May 10, 2011 3:30pm
dreamaker
Last day on the front page. I wanted to thank you all for taking the time to read my little blurb on the wonderful and not so wonderful attributes, or the lack thereof whichever the case may be, when it comes to the mother inlaw.
May 10, 2011 4:31pm
BlogMakesMoney
LOl with very funny
Jun 9, 2011 9:06pm
dreamaker
Thanks I had fun writing it.
Sep 20, 2012 4:04pm
Shivon
OMG!!...I can't stop laughing!...Give those mother-in-laws a break. Very entertaining and down-to -earth-article
Sep 23, 2012 1:35pm
dreamaker
Glad you liked it Shivon tks for stopping by
Sep 23, 2012 10:38am
Januarius
Dreamaker, you deserve credit, for twisting words into punchlines, and thus create humor.
Sep 23, 2012 1:36pm
dreamaker
Thanks so much for the visit and kind words.
Nov 29, 2012 3:49am
eileen
great laugh, glad my son in law won't be reading this. Well I hope he wont although he puts up with us. We do not make a habit of being thee too much. Off traveling instead.
Jan 1, 2013 9:36am
mreid30
Haha, this was great! ^ I agree with Januarius. Kudos! By the way, the picture for this article also made me laugh out loud.. literally.
Jan 1, 2013 9:49am
dreamaker
Excellent. I love it when my writing cracks people up. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Jan 28, 2014 1:42pm
wizfalls
Oh man, dreamaker, this was sooo funny!! I loved it man! I laughed all the way through from the moment the plot to 'remove' her to the very end. Great stuff!!
Jan 28, 2014 1:49pm
dreamaker
Thanks I laughed writing it.
Mar 12, 2014 10:45pm
nazrahim
Alright! So what do you think is the ratio of good to bad MILs ? Maybe they can work on it...Hehe!
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