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How To Look Like A Rockstar Without Spending Any Money

By Edited Sep 8, 2016 1 3

Have you ever been casually eating dinner or walking down the street when a Rockstar - or at least someone that looks like one - strolls by? Have you noticed the reaction they get? Every eyeball within 100 yards is glued on them, possibly even yours. And you've probably thought to yourself, "What does this guy/gal have that I don't?" Look, I don't mean to sound blunt, but there is something that person has that you probably don't: A Rockstar Attitude.

I can already hear you moaning, "It's the look that he's got, not his attitude." But the cold hard fact is that attitude comes before all else. Without that signature grin, "it's cool" style persona and the confident walk, it wouldn't matter if the person was wearing leather pants or granny-style knee-high stockings.

So RULE #1 For Looking Like A Rockstar: Attitude.

It's all in the mind. Rockstars are confident, sassy and above all else, not bothered by anything around them. You've got to get in that frame of mind or anything else on this list won't work. Nobody likes a wanna be rocker walking around in all the garb, but without any personality sass. Don't be that guy.

How do you get a Rockstar Attitude? Think back to a time when you've been somewhere that you really didn't want to be. A sister's piano recital or a long-winded school lecture. You know that feeling of not caring? Bring that to life. Think of yourself as always in that spot. This doesn't give you license to act like a jerk - the greatest rockstars are actually really cool and personable - but it should create that air of "It's cool."

Now that you've got the mentality dialed in, let's focus on your more surface-level appearance. Again, this is the easy part - it's the mindset that the toughest, and since you're now a master of that, the rest will come really easy.

RULE #2 For Looking Like A Rockstar: Wear Pants.

No, I'm not throwing out a reference to the people who wonder around without clothes on at all (though that is pretty rockstar - so long as you don't mind spending a few days in jail and issuing a public appology), I'm talking as literal as you can imagine.

Pants. Wear them. Don't wear shorts. How many rock shows have you been to when the lead singer ran around with shorts? My point exactly. Though there is one exception: Drummers. Drummers wear shorts all the time, but they are a weird breed though, so unless you're experienced in rock stardom, I'd suggest harnessing your inner drummer for a later time.

But don't just wear whatever pants you've got laying in your closet. You need some tight, dark pants, preferably leather, fake leather, vinyl or even jeans. A few warn spots helps, especially in the case of jeans.

Not sure if your pants will make you look like a rockstar? Use this list as a guide:

  • Do your pants have pleats? Throw them away (or save them for your next board meeting, because nothing looks as uncool as a rocker sporting a pair of Dockers).
  • Are your pants baggy? Go join a hip hop band or start break dancing in the street, because that's the only culture you'll fit in to. Tommy Lee never wears loose pants, but Eminem does. Guess who's the rocker and who's the rapper? My point exactly.
  • Do your pants say "Ambercrombie" or some other trendy preppy label? You'll never look like a rockstar, but you will look like a wannabe. Really. Go get your $250 back and invest in a giant sign that says, "I think spending a lot of money will make people like me more, and I'm secretly as insecure as a three-legged cat in a room full of dogs."
Great, now you've got some pants to go along with your rocker attitude. Now let's work on your 'do...

RULE #3 For Looking Like A Rockstar: Messy Hair.

We've all seen those people who spend hours in front of a mirror trying to give their hair that messy, rockstar look. Guess what, they'll never have it. Rockstar hair isn't created in front of a mirror, it's the result of sleeping on some random couch after a long night of partying. It's the kind of hair that the wannabe's model their hairstyle's after. Don't model your hair after anything, get the real deal.

I'm going to fill you in on one of the biggest fashion secrets of rockstars ever: Don't bother with your hair. Let it do it's thing.

Feel like you need some instructions, that what I'm telling you isn't enough? Okay, here's a simple guide. Knock yourself out:
  1. Go to bed, preferably without taking a shower. Better yet, don't go to bed, instead pass out in a gutter or in the back of a random pick up truck.
  2. Wake up.
  3. Don't wash your hair.
  4. Scratch you head to give your hair a little extra fluff. You can get it wet in a sink if you'd like, then dry it with a towel or the closest rag you can find.
  5. That's it. Seriously.
See, rockstars don't spend hours in front of a mirror. They simply don't care about that kind of thing. And that's part of the allure.

Now for the advanced technique

RULE #4 For Looking Like A Rockstar: Eye Makeup

Yes, most rockstars wear eye makeup. Yes, even the guys. Deal with it.

You want to look like you play lead guitar in the biggest band on the airwaves? Put on some eyeliner. Don't go overboard and make yourself look like a goth freak, or an emo crybaby - unless that's what you're going for. Gals, congrats! That giant drawer of expensive makeup will come in handy. Guys, congrats! That giant drawer of expensive makeup that your girlfriend or sister has will come in handy.

If you've never worn eye makeup before, be sure to find somebody to show you how to apply it. No point in stabbing yourself in the eye just to look like a rockstar. Eye patches just don't have the same snap.

And finally...

RULE #5 For Looking Like A Rockstar: Relax

In a hurry? Then you're not a rocker. Slow down, relax, smell the flowers, do whatever, just don't look like you're trying to get somewhere fast. That's why rockstars have managers, to haul them around and remind them where to go; because on their own accord, these guys wouldn't get anywhere.

So there you have it, everything you'll ever need to know about looking like a rockstar - now go let the world know how much you rock!


Jul 2, 2010 2:18am
Jul 5, 2010 1:07pm
Yes, very funny. But speaking of shorts, what about Angus Young of AC DC?
May 1, 2012 12:12am
Another rule - make sure you look like you haven't slept in a week. The best way to do that is to not sleep for a week. But - it is important to still be energetic. Real rockstars can do that!
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