How to makeup with your friend.. Do you miss your friend? Did you have a disagreement, and just never got back together? Was there harsh words said? Were you simply tired that day, and had enough? Or did you feel really hurt?
Before the fight, did you guys have fun together? Was this friend a big part of your family and your life? Do you miss the fun you had with your friend?
It is really easy to just let a friendship slip away, with all of today's stresses, kids, spouses, schedules, and careers, it can take hard work to get a friendship back on track. But you have to ask yourself. Is you life better for not having this friend around? If you answer no, and it has been some weeks now or even months since you parted ways, then maybe you should make the first move and try and makeup with your friend. Otherwise, you will never get rid of that feeling, that it was not finished, that this was unfinished business.
No matter whose fault it was, or how you saw the argument or disagreement at the time, if this friend was a big part of your life, then it is worth the effort to reconnect.
If enough time has gone by, since you last saw your friend or talked to them, and you don't want to pick up the phone, or get butterflies even thinking about making the first move, then why not send a simple card in the mail.
Get a card that simply says "I miss you" on it, and say "I was thinking about you today" and see how that goes over. You could even suggest that you meet for coffee.
If you get a response from that, then make your first meeting a very simple easy going meeting, you will not be analyzing the fight or disagreement, you are just going to smile and reconnect. If this is a long time friendship, you should be able to find some neutral ground and start talking again.
Then you could maybe visit the issue a little bit, and simply "agree to disagree" rather than looking for apologies. Many friendships are lost waiting for that "apology"
Remember when you were a kid, and you had a special best friend? You would do everything together, just like you were sisters, only to have a big fight, vow never to see each other again, then two days later you had forgotten about it and were friends again!
You didn't count who said sorry, since at 6 or 7 years old, sorry was just a word, you wanted your friend back in your life, she made you laugh and you had fun.
One way of looking at this fight with your friend is. Can you imagine being friends again? Was the problem so big, that it will always be that elephant in the room? If that is the case, then you are not likely missing your friend right now, and it is time to move on. You will feel bad for the history to your friendship, especially if it has been decades, but you will have to have some closure. So, a meeting over coffee, in a coffee shop, will give you both the chance to see if you can be friends again and have fun, or whether this will just add stress to your lives and now you need to part ways.
Sometimes even old friendships die, as people get older and change. But many friendships survive decades, and changes. So, if you are one of the people, who can't imagine a life without your friend in it, then make the first move. Don't wait so long that it becomes totally uncomfortable to strike up a meeting again.
You can send a quick email, but I personally think a nice card says everything, because it takes all of five seconds to send off a quick email, where as with a card, you had to pick it, think about what to write, and then get a stamp and mail it.
If your friendship was strong, then this card, and then a meeting should get you back on track again, and put the incident behind you. If you had been very hurt by the actions of your friend, and you feel you have to say something, rather than forget it.. Be very careful, and make a simple statement like "I was hurt" and leave it at that.. If they acknowledge that you were hurt, then don't start re-hashing it, just move on.
If on the other hand your friend, does not feel like you, and does not respond to your card or invite to coffee, then you may have to accept the fact, that there needs to be more time go by, or that your friend is moving on. But at least you tried and know where you stand and you can close the book.
If you have had a good friend all your life, it can be as hurtful as a marriage breakup when it ends, but just like some marriages, it either survives the rocky spot or it does not.
The roller coaster of life, can be hard enough, and if you have been lucky enough to have a good friend along for the journey, for all the ups and downs, then you want to hang on to that. Arguments will happen, but so does the good stuff in life. The hard times in life, seem to be a bit easier to handle with a good friend to talk to, as well as enjoy the good times.
If your life is sad without your friend, makeup with your friend and get back to living, accept that you will not always look at things the same way, and that makes you both unique. Try to remember what triggered that last big fight, and try not to get in that situation again. Once in a while there will be clashes, that is a given.. so just deal with it, and makeup with your friend.
Life with a good friend is priceless.