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How To Move On:7 Tips To Forget Your Ex

By Edited May 6, 2016 2 1

Lord Alfred Tennyson coined the phrase, "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all". With respect to Lord Tennyson, I'm going to assume he never felt true heartbreak.  Too often I've been asked by friends how to forget an ex girlfriend, or how to forget an ex boyfriend. Sometimes after we break apart from somebody we have cared about for so long, the hurt can disrupt your every day life and general happiness. Here seven effective ways to get your mind off of your former lover so you can let that broken heart mend.

1.Cool Down Contact

Cool Down Contact
Credit: Photo by Peter Drier

After a seperation you will probably have a lot of negative and positive emotions towards the other person. You will have questions you want to ask them, and maybe an insult or two you'd like to get off your chest. While it's natural to feel this way, I would recommend you cut off contact completely after a breakup.This is how to forget an ex, you have to cut off contact for at least some time. However, if you work with this person or can't help but see them, it's very important that you do whatever you can to avoid contact for at least two weeks after the breakup. This gives the both of you a chance to cool down, so the next time you talk it can be civilly instead of emotionally. Try changing their contact name in your phone to the date it would be exactly two weeks from you cutting off contact. That way if they call you will immediately see the date you promised to wait for. Focus your mind on other tasks.

"...do whatever you can to avoid contact for at least two weeks after the breakup."

2.Spend Time With Friends

Friends
Credit: Photo by Emanuele Spies

A common initial reaction for people after they break up is to hole themselves up in their house and cut off contact with society. While I think it's good to have personal reflection time, it's important to not have too much. This can lead you to overthink your breakup and stress out even more. Try to spend as much time with your best friends as possible. They will remind you of what a good person you really are. If you happened to burn bridges with most of your friends because of your ex, don't forget you can always turn to family in time of need. An important lesson I've learned in life is that the opposite sex will come and go, but a good friend will last forever.  Instead of letting your heartache push you further away from your friends, use it as an opportunity to get closer with them.

 

"...the opposite sex will come and go, but a good friend will last forever."

3.Pick Up A New Hobby

*OR* Revisit An Old One

Guitar Girl
Credit: Photo by Kennedy Garret

Relationships take a lot of time and energy, and thus some things we use to enjoy can sometimes fall by the wayside. Fill your free time with a hobby you've always loved. If you don't have any hobbies, then it can be fun and challenging to pick up a new one. If you spend your free time trying to learn guitar, you won't have so much time to think about your ex. When you spend your time doing something that you enjoy, it will help you regain your identity as an individual. Even one hour a day would be a beneficial as an outlet.

 

"When you spend your time doing something you enjoy, it will help you regain your identity as an individual."

4.Go On Vacation

Vacation
Credit: Photo by Mamaddiii

A great way to get your mind off of your ex is to take a vacation. Some time away from the daily grind can really help put things in perspective. Go somewhere like the beach or the mountains. If you can really want to clear your head, try finding a vacation spot where your phone will be out of range. Bring friends along for the trip to keep you company. Do NOT go somewhere you and your ex liked to go. Your aim is to find a new and unfamiliar place to explore.

 

"Some time away from the daily grind can really help put things in perspective."

5.Listen To Music

Shhh
Credit: Photo by Kim Boek

Whenever you find yourself feeling in a down mood, try listening to some of your favorite music to pick your spirits up. Try to avoid the real sappy music, stick with upbeat stuff that you can sing along to. Get back in touch with yourself. Break out some old CD's you haven't listened to in a long time. If an artist you like is coming to town soon, coordinate with friends or family to get some tickets and go together. An obvious tip is to avoid any music you and your ex used to listen to together-you want to forget them, not reminisce old times.

 

"Get back in touch with yourself."

 

 

6.See Other People

First Date
Credit: Photo by effectiveattraction

Even if you aren't ready for anything serious, it can be good to put yourself around some members of the opposite sex. If you don't remember how many other frogs are in the pond, you'll focus on your last toad instead of finding your Prince(ss) Charming. Try some casual dating, be up front with the person that you aren't looking for emotional committment. Who knows, maybe you will even find your true love. Be careful though. You can be vulnerable after a breakup. Don't see other people unless you can truly have no strings attached until you are ready to move on.You will find that life has a way of working itself out, so don't be in a rush to get back into a relationship. Let it all come to you.

 

"You will find that life has a way of working itself out, so don't be in a rush..."

7.Remember Why You Broke Up

Arguing Couple
Credit: Photo by uncyclopedia

Remember, your ex is an ex for a reason. Some people, even though they may care about each other, just aren't meant to be together forever. You probably had exes before that ex, and you will probably have more exes in the future. It is completely understandable to miss the happy times with your ex. It is okay to value the good times, but you have to remember the bad times as well. A healthy relationship will make you a better person, and not hold you back with stress. My advice is to always forgive, but never 'forget'. Don't forget why they are your ex, but forgive them and acknowledge that there were both good and bad parts about the relationship. 

"Remember,your ex is an ex for a reason."

Remember, it's never easy getting over somebody you truly cared about. Take things one day at a time, and try to follow some of the guidelines I've layed out for you. It's true what they say, time heals all wounds. If you work on feeling just a little better every day, then you will be just fine. Here's all the tips again for the readers who just like to skim through:

"...do whatever you can to avoid contact for at least two weeks after the breakup."

"...the opposite sex will come and go, but a good friend will last forever."

 

"When you spend your time doing something you enjoy, it will help you regain your identity as an individual."

"Some time away from the daily grind can really help put things in perspective."

 

"Get back in touch with yourself."

"You will find that life has a way of working itself out, so don't be in a rush..."

 

"Remember,your ex is an ex for a reason."

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Comments

Sep 17, 2013 5:30pm
silverwater006
Very good article mate .. as someone who's dealing with a broken heart due to someone who works in my office these tips are quite handy ..

thumbs up!
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