So you have finally made the plunge.  You asked your long time lady to marry you, but now what?  She has been dreaming of this special day since she was three, but you didn’t even think about it till a few months ago.  Read this down and dirty guide to stay on the good side of your bride while still planning the wedding that you want. 

Determine Your Role 

Let’s face it guys.  Most brides-to-be get the final say with just about everything in relation to your wedding.  Never fear though.  If there is something that you especially care about, whether big or small, voice your opinions when the wedding planning is just starting.  Say you want chocolate in the cake, or you really, really care about your wedding photographer—tell your fiancée.  More often than not, you future wife will appreciate the fact that you actually care about your wedding day. 

Before you and your fiancée begin the bulk of your wedding planning, sit down and discuss what your roles will be.  Some women like to be in on most if not all of the wedding planning decisions, while others are fine to leave some decisions up to you.  So, be sure going into planning that you both have clear roles as to what you are or are not doing.  It will cause less stress in the long run. 

Take On What You Care The Most About

Wedding Photography

As mentioned above, there are certainly some things that you as the groom will care more about than your bride.  Try to take those things on with gusto.  Of course, you should almost always deliberate with your fiancée, but you should be the point person for this.  You make the phone calls.  You take the notes.  You are getting married too, so join in on the fun!

Help Out Your Fiancée When The Stress Gets High

Whether you take a very active or passive role in the wedding planning, your bride will almost certainly become extremely stressed within a month or two of your wedding date.  For nearly two months prior your big day, most of your lives will be consumed by finishing up the final wedding details (unless of course, you have a small wedding or have a large enough budget to pay other people to work for you).  During this crunch time, you must step up to comfort your fiancée and pick up some of the extra wedding tasks.  Perhaps you will just need to run some menial errands or you may need to run damage control.  Whatever happens, you must be willing to step up for you and your future wife.  And always remember, a good massage goes a long way. 

Do Not Forget To Delegate!

One of the most common mistakes couples take when planning their own wedding is that they take on too much work themselves.  If you have family and friends that are willing and able to help you prepare for your wedding, ask them for help.  If either or both of you are major control freaks, now is the time to get over it (at least temporarily).  Delegating will bring your stress down to manageable levels even if the work of your loved ones is not perfect.  Remember, at the end of your wedding day, you will be married, and that is all that truly matters. 


Do not expect your wedding day to be perfect.  Something is bound to go wrong.  The weather might not cooperate or someone or something might arrive late.  Just be prepared.  And most importantly, make sure that your bride is prepared!

On The Wedding Day

Your main job on the wedding day will be to calm down your fiancée/wife.  Hopefully, when you first see your bride on the wedding day, all of the stresses that the two of you have built up inside will just melt away.  Finally, you have reached the day that you have tirelessly prepared for so savor the moment. 

No one has ever said that your wedding will be stress free—in fact, it will probably be one of the most stressful days of your life.  You must be on your toes all of the time.  A strict schedule must me kept, and you must visit with your guests.  There is no down time.  You, as the groom, should take charge on your wedding day.   Make sure you are keeping tabs on time and your schedule, not your wife.  Remember, you are the one with pockets.  Keep a schedule in one of them.

And most importantly on your wedding day, take a moment with your wife just to relax and take the day in.  Your wedding day will seemingly come and go in an instant.  Try to sit back and enjoy one of the most important days of your life. 

Finally… A Quick Note

No two weddings are the same.  No two brides or grooms are the same.  But, the observations and recommendations made above should be applicable to almost any groom.  No only do I know this from personal experience, but also from many years experience as a wedding photographer.