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How To Survive A Wedding: A Groom's Guide

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 2 7

How To Survive A Wedding: A Groom's Guide

how to survive a wedding

As I am currently in the final throes of wedding planning, I can wholeheartedly confirm that it is a stressful experience beyond nearly anything else I have faced. The idealist may believe that figuring out how to plan your wedding day will be a snap, but the idealist would be wrong. This article is not a guide on wedding planning; rather it is a guide, for grooms, on how to survive a wedding! 

I should also mention that this is by no means an article of complaint. Figuring out how to plan your wedding day is a wonderful time for a pair of future spouses, and it will help you grow as a couple. Honestly! 

Instead of complaining, this article is intended to teach you the essentials of wedding day survival by giving you a 'sneak peek' at what you'll be facing during the process. Every wedding is different, and this list is by no means conclusive. If you have any tips to add to this article, please leave a comment at the bottom with your inclusions! 

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Wedding Day Survival: Prepare to Plan

how to survive a wedding(60057)

As a groom forced to do some wedding planning, I barely managed. Some people cope well with a million minutiae floating around in theirs heads, but I am not one of them. You will find yourself worrying about details you never thought would be in your domain. Worrying about whether or not your great aunt with the 'waterworks issue' has her chair situated closely enough to the restrooms. Fretting over whether your party hardy groomsman will be smoking illicit substances in the bathroom during the reception. Tearing your hair out over that relative who hasn't RSVP'd yet but just might show up last minute! 

I am fortunate to have a wonderful fiancé who more than makes up for my planning deficiencies, but even with her prowess I was still forced to take on a large share of duties. I have learned how to survive a wedding by trial. I cannot recommend this strongly enough: keep a notepad and write down every task you have, no matter how small! It's amazing how many things will be lost in the shuffle. 

Also, in the planning sphere, I suggest making a secondary wedding itinerary to ensure wedding day survival. This itinerary doesn't include the regular details, it includes the stuff you're more likely to forget, like taking time to eat a snack, have a glass of wine, and enjoy the moment with your new spouse. 

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How To Survive A Wedding: Take Couple Time!

how to survive a wedding: wedding day survival(60059)

I was startled by how often my fiancé and I got into arguments about things. Part of learning how to survive a wedding was learning how to survive each other's temperaments! Since we normally get along very well with few big fights, this was a little shocking. I'm convinced now that wedding day survival is all about taking breaks and remembering you're still a couple and you're still in love. 

Go on dates! Designate certain days as 'wedding planning free' days and spend it having fun with one another. It's more difficult to fit this in as you get closer to your day, but these little breaks will help you in a big way, and remind you what it's all really about. 

On a similar note,  learning how to survive a wedding will be helped by regimenting your planning time. Decide on 'planning sessions' in advance. Pick an hour or two every couple of days to sit down and brainstorm, work on invitations, whatever. This will prevent you from planning during every free second: a surefire way to burn out, fast. 

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Wedding Day Survival: Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

how to survive a wedding: wedding day survival

Another thing I was shocked to discover about my groomzilla self was how much I cared about really insignificant details! I had no idea how many opinions I had on wedding flower color arrangements, or whether we had cookies or brownies as an afternoon snack (brownies, obviously, are way superior). Huge arguments would often result, or at the very least hours of frivilous back and forth decision making and eventual compromise. 

I realize now that at the end of the day I won't notice the color of the flowers, I will notice my bride, and both cookies and brownies are delicious in their own special way. Really these details represented my desire to add my personal touch to the celebration; in short, to be involved. Worrying about small fries isn't worth your time. Think big picture, and the rest will fall into place! 

I hope these simple tips will help you other grooms out there to have an excellent wedding experience, from first planning session to saying "I do". I get married on Saturday, wish me luck! 

By the way, we ended up going with cookies and brownies. 

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Sep 9, 2011 2:32am
You poor shmo! I've walked the plank...er...down the aisle twice (nevermore), and the one thing I learned both times: weddings are not for men. The groom could be a cardboard cut-out for all she cares. The whole wedding thing is HER day. The groom is nothing but collateral damage.

This was a good piece, though, and it may help the next poor shmendrik who takes that long walk -- you know the one: "Walkin' The Mile -- Walkin' the Green Mile!" Good stuff (and some goober spammed you, but I already reported it).
Sep 9, 2011 11:34am
Sorry, bro - I can't disagree more! I wanted to elope with my husband, but he'd insist we needed to have an elaborate wedding party. He believes a wedding is more for the guests than for the couple, so it would have caused a lot of irritation with his family and friends if we didn't do something grand.
I don't care about fancy weddings or overpriced tiered cakes or inefficient catering or a dress that costs as much as my car, why the hell would anyone? But, as I said, he'd insist, so I eventually let him do whatever he wanted. I'd help with some aspects that I had any interest in at all, but for the most part he just left things to a coordinator.
The whole thing was silly, but his parents agreed to pay for most of it, so no complaints.
Still, I ended up doing some insisting of my own, and we went to Australia for two weeks afterward! ^-^
Sep 9, 2011 6:23pm
The upshot, of course, is to be happy. I've seen too many couples get bound up in the leviathan that is THE WEDDING that they forget why they'rr there. I've also seen otherwise solid relationships start crumbling under the pressure. Best of luck to you both -- sounds like this worked out in the end (Australia, eh? Sweet!)
Sep 11, 2011 4:22pm
Don't sweat the small stuff: never do this, your wife-to-be will probably worry enough for the both of you!
Sep 16, 2011 9:00am
I'm considering getting married, going on a honeymoon and sending postcards to the family from there signed "BTW, this is our honeymoon and we got married. Didn't have time to find a white dress that suited me, so we did a quicky. You can send gifts anyway if you want"
Sep 16, 2011 10:59am
Hang in there!
Sep 20, 2011 4:51pm
Planning a wedding is probably one of the most stressful periods that a couple will go through, my best advice: just let her plan everything, it will be a better wedding and avoid to get divorce before you even get married.
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