How To Survive A Wedding: A Groom's Guide

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As I am currently in the final throes of wedding planning, I can wholeheartedly confirm that it is a stressful experience beyond nearly anything else I have faced. The idealist may believe that figuring out how to plan your wedding day will be a snap, but the idealist would be wrong. This article is not a guide on wedding planning; rather it is a guide, for grooms, on how to survive a wedding! 

I should also mention that this is by no means an article of complaint. Figuring out how to plan your wedding day is a wonderful time for a pair of future spouses, and it will help you grow as a couple. Honestly! 

Instead of complaining, this article is intended to teach you the essentials of wedding day survival by giving you a 'sneak peek' at what you'll be facing during the process. Every wedding is different, and this list is by no means conclusive. If you have any tips to add to this article, please leave a comment at the bottom with your inclusions! 

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Wedding Day Survival: Prepare to Plan

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As a groom forced to do some wedding planning, I barely managed. Some people cope well with a million minutiae floating around in theirs heads, but I am not one of them. You will find yourself worrying about details you never thought would be in your domain. Worrying about whether or not your great aunt with the 'waterworks issue' has her chair situated closely enough to the restrooms. Fretting over whether your party hardy groomsman will be smoking illicit substances in the bathroom during the reception. Tearing your hair out over that relative who hasn't RSVP'd yet but just might show up last minute! 

I am fortunate to have a wonderful fiancé who more than makes up for my planning deficiencies, but even with her prowess I was still forced to take on a large share of duties. I have learned how to survive a wedding by trial. I cannot recommend this strongly enough: keep a notepad and write down every task you have, no matter how small! It's amazing how many things will be lost in the shuffle. 

Also, in the planning sphere, I suggest making a secondary wedding itinerary to ensure wedding day survival. This itinerary doesn't include the regular details, it includes the stuff you're more likely to forget, like taking time to eat a snack, have a glass of wine, and enjoy the moment with your new spouse. 

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How To Survive A Wedding: Take Couple Time!

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I was startled by how often my fiancé and I got into arguments about things. Part of learning how to survive a wedding was learning how to survive each other's temperaments! Since we normally get along very well with few big fights, this was a little shocking. I'm convinced now that wedding day survival is all about taking breaks and remembering you're still a couple and you're still in love. 

Go on dates! Designate certain days as 'wedding planning free' days and spend it having fun with one another. It's more difficult to fit this in as you get closer to your day, but these little breaks will help you in a big way, and remind you what it's all really about. 

On a similar note,  learning how to survive a wedding will be helped by regimenting your planning time. Decide on 'planning sessions' in advance. Pick an hour or two every couple of days to sit down and brainstorm, work on invitations, whatever. This will prevent you from planning during every free second: a surefire way to burn out, fast. 

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Wedding Day Survival: Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

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Another thing I was shocked to discover about my groomzilla self was how much I cared about really insignificant details! I had no idea how many opinions I had on wedding flower color arrangements, or whether we had cookies or brownies as an afternoon snack (brownies, obviously, are way superior). Huge arguments would often result, or at the very least hours of frivilous back and forth decision making and eventual compromise. 

I realize now that at the end of the day I won't notice the color of the flowers, I will notice my bride, and both cookies and brownies are delicious in their own special way. Really these details represented my desire to add my personal touch to the celebration; in short, to be involved. Worrying about small fries isn't worth your time. Think big picture, and the rest will fall into place! 

I hope these simple tips will help you other grooms out there to have an excellent wedding experience, from first planning session to saying "I do". I get married on Saturday, wish me luck! 

By the way, we ended up going with cookies and brownies. 

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