Instant Attraction

When Two People Connect

How can you tell if a women finds you attractive? It's not always as obvious as you might think. Some women tend to be very direct and will let you know straight out how they feel, so that there is no ambiguity. With other women, it can be much more difficult to tell.

Let's say you have been hanging out with a woman for a while. She is part of your group of friends and in your view, the two of you have been hitting it off quite well. The only problem is you can't tell if she likes you as a friend or if there might be potential for more than a friendship.

The first thing you will want to do, if she is not telling you directly how she feels, is work on reading her body language and facial expressions. Does she appear to be smiley and open and receptive to you, or does she seem closed off (arms and crossed, keeping her distance, that kind of thing)?

In addition to her body language and facial expressions, what is her eye contact like? Does she look you directly in the eye and hold your gaze for as long as possible, or does she avert her eyes and look down or away? When the two of you are out with your mutual friends, do you ever find yourselves pairing off to chat on your own? If so, does this happen pretty frequently? (Because if that is indeed the case, it is a very good sign.)

The more time you spend together, the more opportunities you will have to try to "read" her face and body language. It's very important to be honest with yourself in your assessment of her behavior. Is she really acting as receptive as you'd like to believe, or are you just engaging in wishful thinking? The more blunt and truthful you can be with yourself up front the better it will be for your emotional health in the long run.

If you've been reading positive signals from her for a while, it's definitely time to take a chance, make your move and ask her out on a date. Have a plan of action (meaning some specific activities - like dinner and a movie) in place, but be open to her suggestions as well. After all, it's good to take healthy risks, but at the same time, you want to safeguard your heart.