happy couple
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This section of the article series deals with 10 questions about day to day living. Marriage will be a daily challenge and a daily success. I hope that your everyday life with your future partner is full of laughter and I hope that these next ten questions will help you start off on the right foot. 

Question 61

How should we divide the household chores?

I read an article in a magazine about a week ago advising its, mainly female, readers that "dividing household chores will not reduce your husband’s sexual attraction to you”. Frankly, I was shocked that, in the 21st century, there are still men who refuse to lift a hand to help around the house and there are still women that need to actually be told this.

I understand that in most cultures it is still the women who bear the brunt of the housework and that some find pride in having a well maintained house. If you happen to be that kind of woman or a kind of woman who refuses to accept help, then that is entirely up to you. But I also know that nowadays most men are happy to help around the house. They might need a reminder every so often but my fiancé for example is in charge of washing the dishes, while I do the cooking.

To all the future househusbands out there among the Infobarrel readers, this applies equally to you. If you want to be sneaky about it, you can phrase in exactly the way I have above. This way, your partner will realise that sharing the household chore is not a choice as such, but they do have a choice as to which ones they might want to do. 

Question 62

Is there anything that I do or my family does that annoys you?

Yes. The answer to this question is always yes. If your partner answers the opposite, then they are either a saint, an emotionless human being who does not know the definition of the word annoy, or lying. Personally, I am under the impression that it is absolutely impossible to live with someone everyday and not find one single annoying thing about them.

I suppose that gives a fourth option, then. You and your partner have not lived together or do not know each other well enough to annoy each other yet. Yet, being the key word. But, not to worry! Whatever the annoying thing is, I am sure it is so insignificant that your partner is willing to overlook it. It’s just good to get things out in the open sometimes. 

chore list
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Question 63

What is your definition of nagging?

I do nag, I admit it. I really try not to but sometimes that tiny voice in my head just keeps reminding me that my fiancé won’t do a certain something to the same detailed degree that I would. So, I end up nagging. Thankfully when that certain something has been settled and I apologise for nagging, my fiancé simply pretends he doesn’t know what I am talking about. ("What nagging? You weren’t nagging. You were just helping.”) How sweet of him to pretend his definition of nagging is not the same as mine.

Question 64

Would it bother you if I made bodily noises around you like burping, snoring and passing gas?

I know some of your cheeks are already blushing at the thought. I certainly wish that whatever house I live in with my fiancé in the future has at least 2 bathrooms so I can peacefully get on with my business. But, if that’s not the case, I know that he will not love me any less for accidentally passing gas in his presence. After all, he does it too! It’s a perfectly normal human sound. Try to find the humour in daily living.

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Question 65

Do you approve of my dressing? Do you approve of my driving?

Since this part of the article series deals with daily living, I must remind you that small daily annoyances can add up to large fights. They may not say anything now, they may not say anything on a daily basis. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother them. And, one day when they can’t hold it in anymore, suddenly you will find out the truth. Isn’t it better to find it out now?

Question 66

What kind of home would you like to come back from work to?

This ties in with the first question and also the previous part of this series on children. Messy but filled with sounds of your screaming happy children? Or a serene hotel spa-like sanctuary? Whichever type of you home you and your partner prefer will determine how much work you will need to put in to maintain it that way. Maybe you can also discuss separate private spaces within your own home if your house happens to be big enough. There is nothing wrong with a little alone time once in a while to recharge and reboot after a stressful day at work. 

clean house sign
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Question 67 and 68

Do you have any vices or bad habits I should know about? How much time do you spend with your phone or computer?

Bad habits on a daily basis might include things like smoking, pressing on the toothpaste tube from the middle instead of the end, accepting work calls at home or even talking on the phone too much. Each couple will have their own definition of a “bad habit” and normally this simply refers to something that the other partner does not do. How much of your bad habit can they tolerate?

Question 69

Should we establish a time limit for seeing friends?

Before marriage, it might be perfectly acceptable to meet up with friends after work for drinks or a have social night of karaoke and bowling every weekend with your single girl friends. After marriage, your priorities change. Yes they will, and yes they should. You are not just you anymore. You are now part of a “We", of an “Us" and of an "Ours”. Even your time is not just yours anymore. 

Question 70

Do you want pets?

Another straight forward question. Normally it’s a yes or no answer. Normally, this will then lead on to which types of pets you want and who will be responsible for looking after them. (Although some people do substitute having pets for having children, I couldn’t possibly put this question in the same section of the article.) 

Happy interrogating!