So you have been having an affair and you have come to the realization that it's not what you want. Time to end the affair, but there are a number of things to consider: Are you really doing the right thing? How will you deal with your residual feelings? What steps will you take to actually end the affair? In this article we will try to address some of these questions.

Honesty - How do you end an affair?

The first step in ending an affair is to be honest to yourself. You have to find the reason why you where having the affair, in the first place. If you cannot address the problem, you will simply fall back into the same or a new affair. The most common reason why people have affairs is that they feel something is missing in their primary relationship. Stress or an unfulfilling sex life may be the problem, but it's more likely how the other person in your primary relationship makes you feel, about yourself. If they don't make you feel valued then you may seek that validation elsewhere. Dealing with your primary relationship problems is beyond the scope of this article, but you should identify, research and then seek to remedy them.

Prepare yourself for pain

Ending a relationship isn't fun, both you and the person you have been having the affair with may end up getting hurt. You need to keep telling yourself that in the long run ending this affair will hurt less. An affair is more than just physical contact. You will miss both the affection and the friendship. If you prepare yourself for the loss and pain it will be easier to deal with.

Breaking the news to your lover

If, the affair was with a levelheaded and mature person, you will find ending it easier. Appeal to the logic of your lover. Tell them that the affair was hurting both of you and that ending it is in both your interests. Tell them that you want to remain friends.

Two things that can make ending an affair harder are cases where the other person has been a long time friend or is prone to strong emotions. If they have been a long time friend to you, you are risking more than just ending your physical relationship. The only way to deal with it may be to accept full responsibility for the affair and for ending it.

The seriousness and the length of the affair play an important role when ending an affair. It is always easier to end an affair earlier. The longer it goes on the harder it gets.

There are a few things to keep in mind when ending it. Remember to remain resolute but compassionate, taking both of your dignities into account. Think of it like pulling off a plaster, do it quickly and get it over with.

I hope that the advice I have given here will help you bring your affair to a speedy resolution. IF you enjoyed How do you end an affair? you might also enjoy reading how to tell if a shy guy is interested in you.