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How do You Know if You're Gay

By Edited May 15, 2015 6 4

Gay Marriage
Credit: Image courtesy of [hyena reality] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

     So you are questioning your sexuality and you are not sure if you are Gay or Straight. Well first and foremost, IT DOES NOT MATTER either way! You are a wonderful, interesting and unique individual who deserves respect and a place in society just like everyone else! How does someone end up Gay? Well some argue that your are born gay, others argue that it is a series of environmental factors that make you gay. More people still believe it is a combination of the two. Personally I think you are born Gay and no choice in involved. So here we are, are you Gay?

 What do your feelings say?

      Pay attention to every emotion of physical feeling in your body. Your body knows more about what you want then you do. Does your blood pressure go up when you're near a certain gender? Do you get butterflies? Who do you get the warm fuzzies for? If the answer is your gender then its possible you might be Gay.

 Who are you sexually, emotionally and physically attracted too?

      Men or women(or transgender)? You want to make sure it is not envy, sometimes you just want to be in a persons shoes. You wish you had their life or looked like them. This is more like envy but can often be confused for attraction. Straight men refer to this feeling for other men as a “man crush”, meaning they admire and want to be more like a person they know of the same sex.

 Present and past relationships?

      Have you had any relationships with the same or opposite sex? Which one are you attracted too more? Which one smells better or give you that feeling of excitement when your going to be near them? If your lucky enough to have had experiences with both genders then you have a better idea about whether or not you are gay. Sleeping with the same sex once, drunk at a party, does not make you Gay.

 Who do you fantasize about?

      This seems like a pretty obvious question, do I dream about men or women. But you would be surprised what people fantasize about. Without getting too specific, people can dream about anything from being attracted to a person to being attracted to a bridge. Look it up, its called “Object Sexuality” If you more attracted to the same sex then that might be a good indicator that you are Gay.

Have you played both sides of the field?


Gay symbol
Typically you don’t need to sleep with the same gender to know if you want to sleep with the same gender or not. If you don’t like spaghetti you don’t necessarily have to eat it to know that. It is the same with your sexuality, you know whether you like women or men deep down inside you, you just have to admit it to yourself. It is also possible you may be bisexual, something we can explore in another article, in which case you may have feelings for both men and women.

      You have only one life to live, live it for you. its OK if your Gay its OK if your straight, bisexual, pan-sexual or poly-amorous. Remember these are just a labels and they do not change who you are. Talk to people, friends and counsellors, they can help you get some of these confusing feeling more clear. Do not talk to your priest, you may find yourself in a “course” that is supposed to make you straight. Might as well try to turn a rock into a tree. Most people just kind of “know” if they are Gay, but if your confused I hope this article helped you in your journey to find yourself, and love what you find.

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Jan 19, 2013 4:03pm
Good job on a controversial subject. I like your outlook; "We are who we are "
Great job thumbs up from me.
Jan 20, 2013 11:38am
Hi--What's with Zootman--must have some fears, eh? I am not and I've never been gay but I certainly do not think that homosexality is any more "ab-normal than hetrosexuality. I believe that you are indeed qualitied to say, think and do what you wish and I believe your advise is quite valid. 2 BIG thumbs from me and a rating.
Jan 20, 2013 12:24pm
It's good to see somebody who isn't afraid to put it out there on this subject. I'm not gay, myself, though I would be the first to defend somebody who came out. Excellent article, and don't let the people with narrow (and shallow) minds make you stop speaking about the subject.

People just need to get with the times.
Thumbs up.
Jan 21, 2013 5:33am
Great article! Completely agree that it doesn't matter if you're hetero- homo- or bi-sexual, we are OK in every way, no matter what gender we're attracted to!
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