Approaching a girl you like is actually really simple. You walk up to her and start a conversation. Is that all? Yes that is all. For example:

  • “Hi, I saw you from over there; I just had to say hi because I thought you were cute.”
  • “Where is the nearest coffee shop?” Wait for her response, and say “Actually I didn’t come to ask for directions. You are beautiful, I just had to come here and talk to you. “

She will thank you and talk to you or she will leave. Either way, you get the hint.

However, there are MANY obstacles you will face before you are able to do that consistently. Below are the problematic ones that you will have to overcome before being able to approach anywhere, anytime.

Approach Anxiety

The Obstacles to Approaching Consistently

1)      Approach Anxiety

A lot of times, guys will not approach because they get an overwhelming force of nervousness. Some call it butterflies in their stomach. This literally stops guys from talking to the girl they are attracted to. So, how do you get over approach anxiety? There are a few ways you can go about doing this.

  • Approach random strangers and ask for directions

While this is a good way to start getting used to talking to strangers, and getting rid of the feeling of awkwardness, it will not get rid of your approach anxiety. You will still have to approach girls you are attracted to conquer that.

  • Approach girls you AREN’T attracted to

This gives you the habit of approaching. Since you are not attracted to the girl, it is easier for you to start a conversation. This is good for you to practice conversations and improve your social skills.

  • Give your friend $20 for each girl you will not approach

One of my friends has actually done this when he started out. It pushed him to do his first ever approach.

  • Do pushups on the spot before approaching

This will get you in a good state of mind. It will pump you up. Try it!

  • You just do it. Approach while feeling the nervousness.

Embrace it. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is the fastest way to get rid of approach anxiety. It took me 57 approaches to get rid of my anxiety. Now I rarely get any anxiety unless I am REALLY attracted to her.

2)      The Mindset that is required in approaching girls

A lot of guys underestimate the mental strength required to do this. Approaching is not difficult, but the rejections you get initially can sting your confidence if you aren’t a confident person. When I started out, I was rejected 14 times in a row before being able to get a girl’s number. Not only do you have to throw your ego out the door, you also have to be a truly confident guy. You have to be OKAY and happy with yourself. A girl can come to your life, but when she leaves; your quality of life will not deteriorate. You DO NOT depend on girls to make you happy. In other words, do not be needy. Get some hobbies and hang out with your friends. Take on some challenging things in life. Travel the world. Create your own career. Be a man that takes risks. Girls like that.

3)      Rejections

This is inevitable. You will deal with rejections. Nobody is immune to it. Even Brad Pitt gets rejected. You have to understand that you are a complete stranger. Some of these girls that you meet on the streets are also not interested in looking for a boyfriend or fling. Accept that and you will be in a much better state. I did not get my first date until approach number 56. Even then, the date went nowhere. Depending on how much time you devote to approaching women, your results will be a reflection of how much effort you put in. A lot of guys think it is easy. Approach 10 girls, get 3 numbers and land 2 dates. While that can happen, it takes a lot of trial and error and consistent practice to be able to pull that kind of results. Just like anything else, it is a form of art. You have to practice.

4)      Dress Cleanly

You will also have to pay attention to your attire as well. Do not wear clothes that indicate to girls that you do not care about your appearance. Torn shirts are a big no-no. Dress well. Get a female friend to help you out with this. Women take notice when you dress well.

5)      Conversational Skills

I can now approach a girl. Now, what do I say to her? Honestly, anything really. Try not to ask too many questions. It kills attraction. Talk about funny stories. Tell ridiculous stories if you can. Tell her you are a homeless guy living in the streets. Make statements instead of questions. For example:

  • “You have an interesting vibe. You must be an artist (or whatever you think she is)!”

Try to give her high fives or very subtle touches if you can. You will want her to be comfortable with you touching her. Speak slowly. Pause between sentences. It really commands attention.

6)      Body Language

Make sure you lean back and keep a slight distance away from her initially. If you are getting a good vibe, you can try high risk moves like hugging her or twirling her hand around and checking her out. It really depends on style here. You will want to convey that you are a laid back guy. Don’t fold your arms and give off closed body language. Women pick up on these fast.


Lastly, practice makes perfect. Do not expect yourself to become a Casanova overnight. Keep going at it. Do not give up when the going gets tough. You could be just one away from meeting the girl of your dreams!