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How to Cope With Asperger's Syndrome and Marriage Problems

By Edited Apr 3, 2014 0 0

Marriage can be a wonderful adventure, but if you are married to someone with autism, then you may experience some possible issues with your spouse and need to know how to cope with Asperger’s syndrome and marriage problems.

What is Asperger’s Syndrome?

People with Asperger's normally have poor communication skills and they are very literal thinkers. They don’t always understand normal social cues and may seem to act strangely or rude. If you suspect that someone has Asperger’s Syndrome, they might have one or more of the following symptoms:

  • Need to have everything all spelled out and get upset when their schedule has to change or they have to go someplace new
  • Don’t like change
  • Don’t seem to have any emotions
  • Can’t focus on things
  • Have to be reminded about things alot
  • Don’t understand things like sarcasm
  • Don’t make friends easily
  • Don’t fit in socially

People with Asperger’s are considered to have a high functioning form of autism, but are still likely to have issues such as self-absorption, being socially awkward and being very set in their ways. Most people diagnosed with this are men and many actual have higher than average intelligence.

How to Survive Asperger’s in Your Marriage

Many people join a support group where there are other spouses who are married to someone with Asperger’s. They find that this helps them to find coping mechanisms to deal with Asperger’s syndrome and marriage problems. Some of these potential difficulties include loneliness and communication issues.

Many spouses try to learn about the various differences between them and their partner and it sometimes helps to see their disease as a sort of social learning disorder. When troubles pop up, it is a good idea to think about what it was that made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place. In the worst case scenario, they may even consult with a psychologist to help them talk it out to a third party.

How to Accept the Diagnosis of Asperger’s

In some cases, the couple didn’t know one of them had Asperger’s syndrome and it is diagnosed after they are already married. This can be a shock to both of them, and no progress can be made unless the diagnosis is accepted and they are helped to live with it.

They may even think the spouse is just selfish or rude, but in reality the person with Asperger’s can’t control their condition without proper training and counseling to help. These are issues that must be discussed between them if they expect to stay in a happy relationship.

A couple has to learn how to avoid the issues regarding Asperger’s syndrome and marriage problems so their relationship won’t end in divorce, as statistics have shown that 80 percent of these marriages end in divorce.

Why Issues Come Up in an Asperger’s Marriage Couple

Here are some of the common things that cause a problem when a spouse has Asperger’s Syndrome:

  • Lack of Intimacy
  • Problems Showing Emotions
  • No Eye Contact
  • Inequalities in responsibilities
  • Problems in Communication
  • Being interrupted frequently
  • Inappropriate sexual contacts
  • Feeling isolated

How to Solve Problems

One of the ways to help prevent issues with Asperger’s Syndrome and marriage problems is to have the Asperger’s victim get some social skills training or counseling by a professional. These things can help them to learn how to properly communicate with others and how to recognize social cues and settings properly.

When someone with Asperger’s is dating, they may just seem unduly shy or quirky, but otherwise normal. Asperger’s syndrome and marriage problems don’t always surface until much later in the relationship. It usually occurs after the marriage has gone on a few years and the other spouse is tired of reminding their partner about things or gets mad because they never want to do something differently or that they seem distracted and won’t make eye contact.

Learn to Understand Your Asperger’s Syndrome Spouse

They think their afflicted spouse just doesn’t love them anymore or that they don’t care, but in reality they can’t control the situation at all and that’s when Asperger’s syndrome and marriage problems start to happen in earnest. Asperger’s Syndrome is actually a neurological problem and when the spouse finds out they may then feel bad that they misinterpreted their spouse’s issues.

Realizing all of this is the first step to saving your relationship you’re your spouse.If the un-afflicted spouse can learn how to accept their partner then there is a good chance the marriage can be saved. This understanding of the fact that their spouse can’t help it will help to solve potential Asperger’s Syndrome and marriage problems.

Example of a Couple’s Plan to Solve Problems with Asperger’s

In one case where it worked out well for the couple, the husband had Asperger’s Syndrome and found a way to cope with his condition and help to save the marriage. He made it a point to turn their marriage into his own success project. He did this by going into a sort of problem solving mode. He wrote himself reminders to do things like using more words in social situations, help his wife with housework, be more supportive, etc. It helped him to do these things and it made his wife very happy.

All in all, this example shows that couples can learn to overcome possible issues with Asperger’s Syndrome and marriage problems if they put their hearts and minds to the task and remember that they love each other and want to succeed. They just need to learn all about the possible symptoms and potential problems that Asperger’s Syndrome can cause and then find solutions to them through counseling and patience.

Asperger’s Syndrome is a devastating form of autism that sadly can cause marriage or relationship problems, then if they follow some of these suggestions, they can become a successful and happy couple and look forward to a happy life together.



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